Unnessary Yet Important Thoughts.

I thought I had it all down. My career, how many kids I wanted, what kind of lifestyle I'd have. But I've gone through the most drastic changes in these past 2 years.


For starters, I am possibly the only 20 year old Pakistani (American- in part, if it helps) vegetarian on this planet. For those of you who know little about the culture I was born in, a meal without meat is an incomplete meal. Over the past year I've known almost 10 girls around my age (some younger!) to get engaged or married. That's pretty frightening. I don't expect to get married any time sooner than the age of 25. That's a minimum, too. My vegetarianism, according to my grandmother, shall 'diminish my prospects finding a "good husband"'.


Going into college, I thought I would become a conservationalist and work with animals for a living. But my parents close-to-final divorce made me feel that there's no way in hell I ever want to be dependant on a man for anything. And hence, I want to earn the big bucks. Thus, I'm considering wasting my life away doing medicine. Even in that, I'm not sure what. All I know is that I will be doing something psychology/biology related for a living. Only God knows what that is, for now (only, I hope).

Lastly, marriage. All this news of girls my age getting engaged if not married, is freaking the living daylights out of me. Unfortunately for me, I'm picky as hell. In the past 2 years, I joined the Art of Living foundation, and find myself becoming quite the socialist/activist for violence-free and stress-free living. It has changed my life for the better, no doubt. They teach breathing techniques that give you a tonne of energy and- get this, rid you of most, if not all emotional stress. I know it sounds too good to be true, but it is. Anyway, so I see myself teaching these courses to people, and for that you have to be drug-free and all that. And honestly, I need to be with someone who can be a part of that with me and truly understand and relate to that side of me. So finding someone like that, first of all is already impossible, and finding someone who is Pakistani and likeable by my parents makes me a pretty hopeless case. I need to get out of this vacation and head back to California where this **** isn't clogging my brain!

P.S: I'll write in 20 years time to let you know if I'm that old lady with a tonne of pets who's always armed with a lint roller. Cheers

thedirtymak thedirtymak
18-21, F
Jan 6, 2009