Screaming In the Dark...

I know I am depressed and I know I should seek help. What do you call this depression. My lows are very low, like with bipolar disorder but I dont have the associated highs. I am either very low or at a medium blah. Highs are very rare for me, when i get them I feel suspicious. I feel as though my body is walking around, and impersonating me but I am not really in it. I am screaming in the dark somewhere and nobody can hear me because my body wont stop moving, giving off the impression that i do more than exist.  And i have fallen into this terrible cycle in my depression. I feel depressed and so I hate myself for feeling this useless emotion, and that leads to me feeling worse. Calling depression a disease feels like a cop out, an excuse to let myself wallow in self pity and not get over it already. I feel stupid for being like this, my life isnt even that bad. I have dealt with all the bad things, I accept that they happened to me and that I cant do anything about it. So why am I like this, why cant I just get over this stupid feeling already?

Ashahmal Ashahmal
22-25, F
1 Response Feb 26, 2009

I think you could maybe do yourself a favour to find a good medium or clairvoyant to check you out...your word usage makes me think you may have an entity stuck in your aura...which if true can create feelings of depression within you that are not your own...<br />
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You also sound too much together to be a loony or someone who has no control over her negative emotions.... <br />
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If you have not studied lost spirits or earthbound lost souls....then brief explanation is they are souls/people who have passed over/died who have never believed life is continuous, or still dont know they are dead, because the have overdosed and are still in the depressed state in which they passed, and they can attach themselves to those souls who are open to that vibration, and they do try to control the body they are attached to...<br />
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You can remove them yourself if you feel confident enough to do it...easy enough to do but you must feel confident and trusting in your own powerful help that patiently and respectfully await your instruction...<br />
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If you wish to know more about this or to discuss it - contact me - be glad to oblige..