I Really Need Help

So this are my problems:

My problems are the ones about 'getting along with your parents' even though I'm so young. I don't get along with my parents. I hate them sometimes. My mother works 2 jobs and always says I don't appreciate her. My father is..well I don't consider him my father. He always threats to hit me or my sister if we don't do something. The last time he actually hit me, I told him that..the fact that he is not my father. I hate his stupidity.
On weekends, the only time the family gets togheter, they start acting like a family! It's like they forget the fact that a day ago they started shouting for no good reason. What am I doing wrong? My father used to tell me and my sister, when we were young, that if we **** off our mother he would hit us, and that would be the only reason. My mother had a really ruff childhood, her mother made her work a lot and didn't care about her. But my father's childhood was ok..he just lost his dad when he was 13.
They tell us things like: 'Why don't you want to go out with us? Why don't you tell us what you want to become?' Why would I do that? They don't deserve it.
Meanwhile, me and my sister are so good at what we are doing.
My sister is really smart, she will go on bio-medical. And I'm so good at art and music. Both of us are in english bilingual high schools so there's no question whether we will be studying or not outside of Romania. We know English, Spanish, German, French, Italian, Latin. We're not stupid.
But I do have this other problem. Ever since I started high school I haven't been able to..well, study actually. I can't get my head in books, just in art or my music. I procrastinate a lot and I'm always late for school, every day.
I use to study. It's not like in the United States, we study stuff they teach in universities in other countries.
I'm a mess..I used to go to pubs close to school. But I also did that to 'study' for subjects for my paintings. And I don't even know how could I am. My friends and other people say I'm good in art and music but I want more. I need to be known.
My parents don't know a thing about this, or about my plans related to art, they don't deserve to know even if they want to. Just by mentioning them here so many times, makes me feel disgusted. They are not important to me, but they continue to disrupt me, my healthy state of mind, my karma..they destroy those everytime I come back home after school. But I'm not so healthy...I have had obsessive-compulsive behavior, a bit of schizophrenia, paranoia, suicidal attempts during my childhood. The funny things is that, my parents don't even know it. I'm also introverted and extroverted. It's annoying.
I have never had a boyfriend before, though I'm cute and a lot of people told me that. But not friends. People that I barley know or don't know at all compliment me. When I was young I was so shy and boys used to pick on me a lot. I've only had a very good friend for 8 years. I've only felt in love with a person, in the 8th grade, but he liked my friend and later made fun of me.
In high school everything changed, I slowly became extroverted, and now I know so many people. I started going places, taking guitar lessons, experimenting for my art. But this guy from another class, started talking to me and saying things like: 'Hey, you look just like the religion teacher!' And then He started telling people that; He use to stop people on stairs and point towards me and say those words. The thing is that I did look like that teacher and I use to dress sorta akward. One day he started talking to me, he was really happy. And I told him that if he ever says anything about me looking like the religion teacher, I will never talk to him ever again. He got upset and several times after that, he wanted to reconcile with me. Once because a friend of mine told him I said hello and another time because my friend told him on messenger that she has a mission regarding me. He didn't want to hear that, he said that I should speak to him. But I can't. It's true, I really want to get along with me. I like him a lot. And it's possible that he liked me too and I skrew everything up. But I just can't. He's soooo nice and loving to all people. And I can't face him because I'm afraid he won't like me and I'll fall in love with him. What really annoys me is the way he decided to talk to me, by macking a mockery of what I look like. I know he meant it as a joke but my history is horrible during this kind of situations. He is a great guy but I don't know if he likes me anymore. He wants said to that friend of mine, after he took my jacket to put this cute little rescued dog that I had decided to take home, that he thinks I hate him. And I know my character shows that. I just wish I could stop being afraid of the way he sees me and show him that I like him so much. It may be too late.
So my problems are:
-parents(hate them)
-school(not being able to focus)
-art and music(want more)
-love(have no self-confidence)

If I look back at what I wrote..those things are my life, and well I suck big time. I'm sorry if I wasted your time.

suntpraf10 suntpraf10
18-21, F
2 Responses Mar 15, 2009

When I was a teen I had the same experience with my parents .. they had no clue and seemed always to be pointing out the negative in me ... years later my own sons where teenagers and I certainly didnt understand them either.<br />
But what I realised was that as a parent I was scared and angry .. who were these two boys who only a short time ago I had been their whole world .. and now they had no time for me at all. <br />
Your parents are scared .. they dont understand you now and you dont need them for very much anymore.<br />
They'll have to get used to you as you are now and as you are becoming.<br />
And given that you sound like a pretty switched on kid perhaps helping them come to understand you could be a real help.<br />
The best way to train your parents is reward when they are being positive towards you and ignore when they are not.<br />
And given that you have an artistic nature find an overlap with things they are interested in and involve them from time to time. it could be as simple as painting a picture of your mums rosebed or playing your dad a song that he loved when he was a teenager.<br />
But you get the point ... give them something to feel connected to you again.<br />
We parents always think we are right .. but you teenagers know we have no clue ... be patient it will take time and there will be setbacks ... help them through this on your terms and things will get easier for you. Reward their good behaviours towards you ignore their bad and you watch them slowly start to change.<br />
As the above poster said .. a kiss or hug out of the blew can be so profound.

i have read your experience,you sound so normal, like millions of others,just try to give your parents some understanding, trust me,they in the past have done the same for u. none of us are perfect,mom ,dad,or you, . sounds corny but go give your mom or dad a kiss and hug tomorrow and just say love ya. it will change things instantly,for u and them.hope i have not made u to mad at me,look forward to reply