The Love Of My Life

I met my current boyfriend about 5 years ago. I had a boyfriend, he was single at first. My boyfriend was in jail, and even tho what i did was wrong, it is what it is. Me and my "heart" always came back to each other, after months of not seeing each other, we'd always end up back in each others arms. He ended up having a baby with his girlfriend, and ever since then they have been together, they've had their rocky relationship, but eh, it is what it is. Me and him love eachother so much, and we want to be with eacother, but he's not willing to give up his baby mother, whom he does love very much, or the fact that she has his 2 children, that's his family, i can't compete with that. SO, idk, i feel really broken, i know i'll NEVER find what i have with him, what i have with him is rare, and intense. I love him more everyday, we have a bond, a chemistry that can not be replaced, or found in another man, but, maybe i am starting to feel like i need to let him go to work things out with his baby mother. What are we doing? He wants both of us becuase he can't let me go bcuz he loves me, but he can't let her go becuasue he loves her and he has 2 children with her. What do i do? I feel lost, broken, and scared, becuase i would continue this relationship forever just to be with him and have him in my life, even if i was the other woman for the rest of our lives. That's how much i love him. I feel like him and his baby mother aren't going to last, i feel like they are doomed, becuase they ahve a really screwed up relationship, but who am i to interfear. IDK, i'm so confused...i'm so, so confused.
jamiefaith2 jamiefaith2
1 Response Aug 10, 2010

Well, it is some story. I do not know whether I am right, but I'll tell you what I would do being in your situation, trying to put myself in your place as much as possible. What I'm gonna tell you is not the average and a lot of people will condemn it. So read it and think twice ( even more, better)<br />
<br />
For starters, you are with three people in this situation, I don't know what the other girl is thinking and how she thinks about you. I am convinced that people are capable of loving more then one person at the time. So if your lover is really honest with you, then it can be the truth. That he doesn't want to leave his "family" is understandable, that, when he really loves you (and it's not only chemistry), he's torn apart as you are is to be expected. <br />
Then the most important part in this situation is: does the mother of his children know. When she doesn't I don't think my idea will have any succes, if she does, then the question is whether she likes you and you her, for at least some part. A part within you're "triangle" that has to grow. If there are no seeds, it will not grow at all, you understand that. Maybe you've heard about polyamory, if you haven't look it up ( There are ways of living together or living-apart-together in harmony this way. Do not think it's the same as polygamy, because that's not allowed, which I think is strange, but ok, it is. Of course it would make society even more complicated, but then what do all divorces do...? The main and most difficult part is that the three of you must all agree, as in a vow, and it won't happen tomorrow, do not make such decisions if possible at all, overnight. And count into your thoughts the way people look at it, condemn it etc.. <br />
But it is a possibility. Another thing to consider, is their bad connection, I mean the one between the mother and you friend. Why is it. Because of you? That would be another problem. And remember, do not forget, you will be the one, if you do that suggests the idea, in the beginning, if there is a future in it at all, you will get a lot of the heat that for sure will come up.<br />
So consider, is it worth it. When you know she hates your guts, don't even think to bring it up. It will only harm you more. The most sensible thing to do then, is to walk away of it all, how difficult that may be.<br />
I hope you really understand this story, and hope maybe it will work out.<br />
Lots of success.<br />