What Should I Do?

My husband and I don't get along anymore. He's very resentful that I need any kind of affection from him other than what he's willing to give me. He views anything I say about what I need as I'm trying to control him. He says his keeping his opinion to himself is what's kept us together for the past 18 years. He doesn't even see any sacrifice I've made. I do absolutely everything for him, give him sex or whatever he wants whenever he wants. If he knows I'm unhappy, he's ok as long as I don't want to talk about it with him. He feels he's doing everything he can to make me happy and I want too much. I take care of the kids completely. He only interacts with them if he feels like it. All emotional issues are mine. I had to tell both our kids, even my son, about the birds and the bees. He went so far as to have me find a sex buddy because he got tired of my asking for affection. Now he's left to go live with a friend of his. I told him we needed to tell the kids together, he said they wouldn't notice. Hello, they're 11 and 15, and  believe me they noticed. He left and I had to explain what happened. Now he wants me to let him come home and I'm torn. If the marriage isn't working, why would I let him come home after I've done the horrible task of telling our kids what's going on? He says he misses us, but I don't know what to do. He says he loves me, but I'm more a believer of actions. You can't expect someone to believe you love them if you don't act like it. I'm tired of his mind games, using sex and affection as a weapon, but expecting me to dish it out like it's going out of style. I feel like I'm burned out and now I need to focus on my kids. If I'm getting my affection elsewhere, why would I stay with him? For the kids? I've run out of answers and he wants one.

tallmama2 tallmama2
41-45, F
1 Response Mar 2, 2009

It appears that you've done everything you can to save your marriage. I too have been where you are. All you can do is tell him your needs which you've done. I've told my hubby that I am willing to pray with him & go to church with him. See where this will lead you.<br />
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Praying for you,<br />
Lynn