My Life Is Anything But Boring.... Argh

So, I've known this guy for years. He's known my ex for a LONG time, and was really the only person my ex would behave around, so it was kind of a natural thing that I'd like him. So, anyway, In a bit of a backstory on me, I'm a GIANT flirt, it's really the only way I know of how to interact with guys. Has gotten me in trouble before. So I had convinced myself back about a year or so ago that for some reason i was "in love" with him. Great. So that leads to idiocy from my end and all that CRAP. Last week he ended up in my area of the country and stopped by. I was of course scared out of my mind and all that good stuff, and when he kissed me, i FREAKED. Not because of anything I could point to at the time... but because I suddenly was able to tell that he didn't give a crap about me or anything really but finding another bed on his trip. Like that was gonna happen. HA So I totally built up "walls" around myself and he left soon after, thank the gods. Anyway... I've told all this to my therapist, who is awesome. Today I saw an email from him in my inbox.... and I'm leaving it alone right now... I'm not sure if I want to just destroy it or not or what. I see my therapist on Thursday, and see what she thinks. AAARRRRGGHHH At least my "boyfriend" actually makes me feel good and appreciated. And, yes, I did tell him about what happened and how I felt about it. We're not really exclusive (long story there), which is why the " " around the name. So.... HELP, please, tell me what you would do and why.... and if there's guys out there, let me know what is up on your end! -Kalika
kalika kalika
26-30, F
Mar 19, 2007