My Free-spirited Opposite

I think I might be falling for this guy. I'm not sure. It could be just my period, especially since I feel as if I am an emotional wreck right now, but I feel so conflicted on what to do about this guy...

I wasn't originally that interested in him. He was somewhat romantically involved with someone at the time we talked online, and we only communicated online. After that relationship ended, and we got to know each other a little better; I discovered that he's very socialable, outgoing, adventurous, exciting, the typical Gemini. Basically, my total and complete opposite. I doubted that we would click or understand each other. Actually I think that might still be true right now, I'm not sure. Anyway, he was pretty eager to meet me, and one night, I thought to myself, hey, why not? I've had bad luck in the romance department this year, and figured I could try something new. I ended up having the most fun I've had in years and I had never felt so happy!

However, now that the excitement's died down, I grow more emotionally inconsistent and somewhat paranoid about this. I used to think he only wanted someone to casually "date" and have sex with--but I am pretty sure he is looking for something more. He thinks that I may not be mature enough for him (he is four years older), and that if I were to be in a relationship with him, I would have to be very understanding and flexible, considering his lifestyle. He is a cop in a dangerous town nearby, often works overtime, rarely gets enough sleep, and also takes care of his parents. He is moving closer to his work town this fall (so we won't be living in the same city anymore), which I can handle, but I'm not sure if I can handle him being on vacation with an extremely attractive friend in some months, or his future tentative plans: become an air marshall (basically fly on planes everyday, in case of terrorist attacks, and be "homeless").

I didn't understand how he expected to have time for an actual relationship if that's what his plans are (sounds like I'd never get to see him), but to him, all he needs is loyalty and trust. His idea of a relationship blows my mind, because I had never heard of such an idea before, requiring so little! I've always envisioned my ideal relationships to have more physical contact. I want more out of this... but I'm so conflicted because I don't wish to date anybody else (I hardly ever have feelings for anybody, and I don't want to let this go), but this isn't exactly what I want... though I could always opt to wait for him... Afterall, how often does one meet an honest, loyal, open-minded, smart, very attractive man?

daydr3am daydr3am
22-25, F
1 Response Aug 11, 2007

You do have a problem, but if you know yourself well enough, you can honestly decide if you want or can handle this type of relationship. <br />
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I was a military brat, wife and now work with mostly military retirees. These families go months without "Dad"or"Mom" around. They survive on faith, trust and love, with e-mail, letters, an occational letter and a 2 week visit home once a year.<br />
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Some ofmy co-workers deloy for a year to 3 years at a time and come home one weekend a month. Trust me, it takes a strong person and relationship to live this way.<br />
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It can be done, but is very difficult and lonely. It is not the type of relationship everyone can handle. Only you can decide.<br />
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Sometimes, no matter how much you love someone,no matter how great both people are, their lifestyle ( i.e. career) makes it impossible to be together. <br />
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Good luck......Take care