Never Ending.......

HI IM 28 YRS OLD NOW AND WHEN I BEGAN SELF HARMING I WAS 14, I STARTED OUT BY CHEWING MY CHEEK OR MY NAILS UNTIL THEY BLED THEN I BEGAN TO CUT MY WRIST WITH RAZOR BLADES, AT FIRST I NEVER REALLY CUT DEEP ENOUGH TO LEAVE A SCAR BUT AS TIME WENT ON I GOT MORE COMFTERBLE AND IT WAS MY ONLY OUTLET WHEN I WAS STRESSED OUT SAD OR MAD THE MOMENT I CUT IT ALL WENT AWAY. I STOPPED CUTTING AFTER I HAD MY DAUGHTER AT 18 BUT AS TIME WENT ON I BEGAN TO PICK AND PULL HAIR NOW IM STRUGGLING WITH IT MORE THAN BEFORE, I GO ON HR LONG SESSIONS PICKING AT THE BOTTOM OF MY FOOT SO NO ONE NOTICES. I HAVE OPEN WOUNDS AND STILL I CONTINUE TO PICK......... ITS ALMOST LIKE AN OBSESSION I HAVE HAD A CRAZY LIFE I WAS MOLESTED FREQUENTLY BY MY GRANDFATHER AND WAS RAPED BY MY COUSIN PERIODICALLY UNTIL HE DIED DUE TO GANG VIOLENCE, MY PARENTS WERE HEROIN ADDICTS SO I NEVER HAD ANY ONE I COULD REALLY GO TO. IVE BEEN TO COUNCELING 7 YRS TO BE EXACT AND EVEN THOUGH IT HELPED I STILL STRUGGLE WITH ANXIETY IVE BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH BIPOLAR AND THE MEDS IM ON DO WONDERS IN EVERY AREA EXCEPT THIS! I HOPE THERES SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO RELATES TO MY STORY.......
justcus justcus
26-30, F
Sep 6, 2012