Life Is Nothing Anymore

I been having major mood swings which kill me so much, and its gotten worse as the years gone on, i have ignored it majority of my life but now for the past 3 years its gotten out of hand, and yesterday got worse to the point i wouldnt stop until it happened, something so small bugged me and i told my sister to leave me alone but she wouldnt so instead in my mind it just said attack, so i did anything i could to try and hurt her and i didnt care if she ended up dead which i almost did ffrom suffercating her. but this isnt me im not this person, im not an angry hurtful depressed person.

I just feel empty now like why all of a sudden this happened and not before, my mum said its the same as wat she had and i will out grow it but the problem is i know i wont i need to do something before i kill someone or hurt them and then hurt me, suicide has been on my plate for the past few years but its the fact that i have only recently acted on it (end of 2012) why is this happening to me why cant i let it go away why dont i stop i want me back, i just want me back.

I hate feeling depressed and angry and hurt and **** all through the day

stephie514 stephie514
18-21, F
1 Response Jan 8, 2013

I know how you feel, I've also felt like that lately, but we just have to remember this period of darkness doesn't last forever. It only seems like that now, because we're going through it. Challenges make us stronger people. Keep this in mind, and I hope you get happier soon. :)