It's Not Gonna Be Ok

People tell me it's gonna be ok but they don't get it. Lots of people have suicidal thoughts but because they are being abused or bullied etc. But I got caught with drugs at school. Got my phone taken away, I am suspended for a calendar year, on house arrest, and my two best guy friends got caught too. I can't leave the house I have no way to talk to anyone and I can't go to school. So no one gets it. I want to go to sleep and wake up then everything be normal again but that's not gonna happen. So nowi wanna go to sleep and never wake up. I want my brain to stop so I cant think and I want to die so people can't tell me how much of a screw up i am and so I dont have to deal with the pain anymore. I just want it all to end.
Confusedblonde1234 Confusedblonde1234
13-15, F
1 Response Jan 13, 2013

Hey, it's been a couple of weeks since you wrote this so I just wanted to ask: how are you doing?

Well now it's been a really long time since I wrote this lol but thanx for asking. Now I learned to just not think. And when my parents lecture me I just walk away. So honestly I guess I don't care what happends to me or where I'm gonna end up.