Always Changing...never Permanence
I'm 23 years old and a member of the US service...active duty. I've been in for almost 5 years now and thought that by now, I would have a good grasp on where I want my life to go. While I'm living a comfortable lifestyle, I always feel like something is missing. The original reason I joined the service was my love for my country and to get an education. I figured I'd realize my passion along the way. College has always been in my top priorities, yet I never seem to know what exactly I want to do. I've gone through the first few classes of an intel degree, a language degree, cultural degree, and I was just about to try my hands at a visual communications degree. At some point in time I realize how unhappy I am with the subjects and get scared I'm going to waste my money on something I'm never going to use. Really, the problem seems to be that I don't want to end up as one of those retired vets who has no job prospects and is living off the government. That alone makes me feel like the weakest human being ever. Knowing that I am fully able to support myself without aid, yet I am depending on a whole other entity to do what I seemingly can't. In that, I am at a complete loss. I feel like I should be moving on with my life and being at the same level as my peers who went to college, but I'm so behind. Or at least I feel so behind. It's like I start something and lose the passion for it. First it was painting. I love to paint, but I'll get bored. Then it was music. Then it was languages. Then it was visual communications. I end up putting hundreds of dollars into things I end up getting bored with. I can't find something that makes me happy constantly. It really scares the crap out of me. At this point I have no idea what to do.