No Direction

i think, this is by far the lowest point i have ever felt in my entire life. i know im not the only person that has problems..i know that some have bigger problems than mine..but hey...its hard not to complain...
i hate my job..i cant quit due to huge debts..i'd like to change fields but too broke to even enroll in some crash social life...its always just work-home-then damn work again..and when im at home..i do nothing but cry...i have hobbies...i love art...but nowadays it doesnt make me happy anymore and im also running out of ideas of what to paint/draw lovelife's screwed up..i get angry even angry when im asleep...i feel like no one understands me..i feel so alone with no direction...i dont know what to do anymore..i have no one to talk to..and even if i try..people would look at me and think im insane..i just want to disappear...i'm so lost...i want to go for therapy..ive never tried it before..but its either that its too far or its damn too bro told me to prioritize my them one at a can i when i dont even know where to start? like when i try to do something..another problem clashes with it and thus discouraging me to not take it further....gaaahhh!!! this is so frustrating!!!i want to move forward but this nonsense is stopping me & i feel like i have no choice & im stuck! =(((
irishinabox irishinabox
4 Responses Aug 16, 2011

Im in a similiar position and if this helps you could start downloading positive thinking books to help change your mind set 'Change you life in 7 days' and 'Rich Dad, Poor Dad' and even reading them opens up your mind! Once you finished reading these books I highly recommend the lastest version of 'What Color Is Your Parachute?' which is a career book and most importantly you learn about urself, ur strengths and what your ideal career would be. I really hope this helps. I dont know what country you are in but here in Canada they charge a fortune for Career Counsellors but if the government pays for that in your country I would highly recommend seeing one. Please contact me back if I can assist in anyway! I know how frustrating it can be.

I get it and I understand. I ve been stuck in jobs I hate, and yes I quit I regret it....YES! The last job I had sucked, and I had to kiss *** or tell on people and thats not how I roll either...the job and the pay was not worth it! Now Im stuck no job, car or $ and my depression is getting bad. People tell me to have patience and everything will workout..well i've waited 32 years for things to get better, but they dont. so i'll tell you the same thing, and i think you just need to have a desire to change just like I do, but I have no idea where to even begin. yes god help us!

hi misslala12379,<br />
thanks for your comment..i'm sorry about your situation sister...since you love to write i guess you can call that as your hobby & why not use your writing skills as your source of income so you can get out of your mom's place?<br />
i know i should be grateful that i have a job..almost everyone i know keeps telling me that...i dont know..i guess im just fed up of doing the same thing..i'm just stuck doing the same thing for 7 years...i have asked & have been denied for a better position over and over again...if you want to get a good position you have to kiss *** and also backstab whoever you wanna bring down just so you can get at the front but im not that type of person..tried quitting but have been denied with that also so i got deeper into debt and now i cant leave coz if i do i wont have money to pay then if i dont pay i go to jail then deported..i tried looking for another job but i guess i ran out of luck & im only a highschool graduate so with the situation now the competition is very high so why would they pick someone like me?i know i should change the way how i view my situation into a more positive way...but thats the thing...I CANT! I DONT KNOW WHY! so i just sit here & complain..and im getting tired of complaining too...i think i just need a miracle..i dont know...<br />
i dont know what's financial aid for school heck i dont even know if they have it here where im living in...<br />
im trying to learn stuff that focuses on the creative field..but then i feel lost there too..i dont know where to start...i try to come up of new ideas but my mind's just blank...if i had a choice, i just want to disappear and be in a place where i feel free...<br />
sorry if this sounds a bit confusing or i keep going in confused too...i know its not much to some but if its not much then why do i feel so shattered?why do i feel its so hard to get up?<br />
god help us...<br />

i feel u! but u have 2 things i wish i had...a job and a hobbie. i live with my mom who is crazy! my goal is to get a job, get a car and get the hell out of her that so hard to ask for. i cry alllllll the time too! no one understands me and tell me things like, it will get better and dont give up. ive believe that and havent given up but damn when will something give?! ill tell you to be grateful for what you do have a may hate it but it gives you money. have you looked for another job? what is it about your job that you hate? the people, the job etc. have you tried directing how you feel into your art? like the anger, pain sadness etc. i like to write and all my writing these days is angry and sad. it helps me in those crazy moments. have you looked into financial aid for school so you can change your field. what are the things you are doing to try and change your life?