TrappedI have been fighting with myself again. In 2005 I felt the same way. Lost, trapped. I made the decision to go back to school – and really do it. I had nothing to loose, my job sucked, my relationship… crash and burn. I was ready to reinvent myself. I went back to school full time – far from “home” I did everything that I had always wanted. Prove to myself that I was more than I could have ever imagined. I made the deans list, met the most amazing girl and just a few short years later graduated with high honors. That was one of the best times of my life. It has been nearly a year since that day. And every day since then I have been saying… “I don’t know what to do with my life…” After school I went back to work as a butcher, just to make some change to get by on while I went job hunting. Spring is over, no job. Summer is over, no job. I thought “don’t get yourself down; this happens to all new grads.” For a competitive edge I spend 2 months “keeping my mind sharp” and became certified in two technician fields. Winter is over, no job. I applied to graduate school and was accepted. I do not like grad school… I don’t think I am going to stay… why bother? I have had the same job since I was 16. After all my effort and education, is this really my life to be? Sometimes I feel like packing a bag and running away from this. I don’t understand why I am trapped.
somethingmissing 26-30, M 3 Responses 2 Apr 17, 2008