I Need Guidance

I'm 19 years old and I feel so lost.  I graduated from high school and I was so determined to play soccer in college.  So, I went to college for pre-season soccer and I hated it after a week!  I moved back home and went to community college and hated it too.  After 2 quarters I dropped out.  Months later, 2 friends and I moved to Myrtle beach for the summer and we couldn't afford to live.  At the end of the summer, we decided to join cosmeotology school because we had this dream to make our own salon together.  I was so heavy in to smoking weed every single day and drinking whenever possible.  I felt like I was losing myself and after one night I got into a drunken fight with one of my friends.  I was bleeding everywhere and I walked home at 3am.  The next morning I realized I had to do something with my life.  So, I moved here to texas with my dad. 

I hate it here.  I  didn't realize the kind of person I was until I got here.  I like surrounding myself with people.  Now i'm lonely.  I work at a Buffalo Wild Wings, but I just don't connect with anyone. 

I visited my hometown a few times and my 2 best friends are in cosmeotology school and have jobs.  And I think, that could of been me with them. I'd actually be happy in school and working.  What was I thinking moving?  Now, i'm so torn on what to do.  I feel so lost like im just floating around waiting for someone to push me in the right direction.  50% tell me to stay here and try to tough it out.  50% tell me to come home and be happy.



mailatequila mailatequila
18-21, F
1 Response Nov 30, 2009

If you know a place where you can be happy, doing something you love, then isnt that worth going to? Specially if its something to close to grasp. its not out of ur reach. You can, on the other hand, tough it out and gain life experience, and make new friends and a new way of life. But if ur not studying there, and what you really want to do is study, and make a career for yourself, then you have to do just that. <br />
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If its a question wether you should do it for or with ur friends, then you should try and talk to them, wether or not your all going to go thru with it, together, as one. But Do it for YOURSELF, not for the comfort it would bring you to be with ur friends working all together. Make sure, and not in a wrong hurtful way, that no matter what happens you can always pick urself back up, and with knowledge go on. FIND HAPPINESS wherever it may be. <br />
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Home is where the heart is. <br />
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anyways, just my 2 cents, i was just passing thru. Not trying to tell you what to do, just an outside view. I'm 19 too.