I Wish Things Can Be Happy Once Again..

Hi guys I am new to this, but I needed to go somewhere were I can write what I am feeling and not have my friends know. I am 15 and in a relationship, we have been going out for almost 5 months, I love this kid to death we have our ups and downs like everyone else. We got into an agrument last night over the website Facebook, I am sure you all have heard it or even have one. But we got ontp a fight because he lied to me and what he lied to me about got me upset and I cried. He didnt cheat on me, he took a drug and said that he didnt but he did and he told me that he did afterward, I cant stand liars so I cried just knowing the fact he almost lied to me I mean he told me the truth afterwards but wouldnt it be even better if he just straight out told me and not lie..Yes. So then I got these crazy thoughts that I wanted to break up with him, I was in an emitional wreck. I didnt know what to do. So i sat there quietly waited till I was done crying and told myself whatever I am done and I started to ball my eyes out and my heart got this pinch inside and I grabbed the hippo pillowpet he had gotten me and started to say outloud while I was crying; I love him, I can leave over and over again. So I ended up staying and didnt realize how much I love him, but I told him that if he lies to me ever again I am going to have to push myself to breaking up I may not like that idea but I dont want to be lied to. Anyways so after I told him that everything got great we were happy but there always seems to ruin our happiness. The next morning we were all excited to hangout but when I asked my dad he said no.. We both became really sad. So we werent really agruing but we were expressing out feelings. So after that we got into a normal converstation me asking if his bestfriend is going to date this girl, and how my bestfriend misses his bestfriend. If that confused you I am sorry. So after awhile I said maybe we can hangout tomorrow! and he said yea! but can we actually do things this time? I didnt know what he meant so I asked and he said sex and that no one was going to be home.. I said that makes me not want to hangout. Thatsounds kinda rude but I am not ready to have sex. And when I read this message it made me start to cry

Were not having sex right away.. I already waite four months.. Soon too be five, if we make it.. Hope we do! but like how are we not ready emotioanlly..? We all grow up different yes and it makes us us we unique.. Your very unique your not like other girls at all which is kinda good then kinda bad! You say we have a lifetime.. We don't.. What could happen.. Anything could happen.. We always share emotions.. We get close but not very close.. What I want will be good for both of us.. I just want what I can't have.. I try too get what you want I try too do what you want.. I always try make you happy, sometime I do bad.. When we don't hangout we grow apart.. Everytime we argue, we grow apart.. What I want would be good for us.. You said you were ready before.. Now you changed your mind.. I chose you because out of everyone you get me you make me truely happy.. Your hard too get I like that, but I realized your too hard.. I dislike it but I can't control it.... I don't even know what too say anymore..

I did not answer him because I didnt know what to say either so he message me saying

 


I gave up so much too be with you.. I really did.. I'm glad I did! It's worth it, except sometimes.. Like now..




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    I wish you were ready too do all that stuff but your still waiting... I won't hurt you.. I won't leave you.. This would make us both happy.. Trust me.. Just be ready.. If it happens it be less fighting and all that cause once you do it.. It's like always happy.. I don't know why but please.. I don't wanna force you or anything! I just want it.. What will make us happy..


    Then I said it will make you happy not me.

    I read a lot about sex and to know if I am readt or not on this website and it was really helpful. So after that he had gotten mad at me still and started that he does everything to make me happy, and that he never gets what he wants and that I always get what I want..I want to make him happy just not in that way. So i sent him :,l face he said whats wrong babe.. didnt answer him he said my name didnt answer him again then he said whats wrong what did i do. So I said its what you said that made me feel like crap. He said why and I told him to figure it out and tell me and he got it right. He saying that hes sorry and that he didnt mean it that he was just mad..

    I forgot to say that we live in different towns so we can only hangoout on the weekends so I feel like we drift away till we hangout and everythings fine..

    I just want to know when things are going to be happy for us again like before.



arajmanthgirb arajmanthgirb
13-15, F
May 12, 2012