What Do You Start To Talk About?

I am lonely and don't know where to meet people. When I read things on the net about loneliness they say volunteer...where?, go to markets...how do you start a friendship while shopping? Walk your dog in the park...again what do you say to people?
Its hard to know who to approach and what to say if you go somewhere where there is people, I am not sure if I am being intrusive if I just start talking to someone who is on there own too. If I go to an art gallery for instance its hard to get a conversation going with a stranger, and if you comment on the art work that you are both looking at you may not necessarily agree with each other or you may only get a short answer back and if you spend even an hour in a gallery doing this after a while you are going to look like a weirdo ie commenting to other alone people one after the other. So I find that when I go out and about because I am lonely I find that I end up coming back home having not had any contact with anybody and feeling very depressed and even lonelier, its like a vicious cycle. And if you do get a conversation going and then ask if they would like to get a coffee and they say no you feel even worse. The whole thing just makes me want to stay at home. I have lived in this are for 3 years now and I do not know anyone.
Peachmelba Peachmelba
46-50, F
2 Responses May 23, 2012

Yeah, I have to same problem too. But maybe it is trial and error. You might talk to 50 people before one of them says they'd like to get coffee with you, but maybe if you hadn't talked to those 50 people you never would've met that one person who said yes.<br />
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I think you should take whatever "failures" in talkin to people as practice, and try to know what to say the next time, and the next...until someone will say yes. I'm pretty sure someone will say yes eventually, you seem like a cool person :).

Thanks for the reply, sounds like good advice. Practise makes perfect!

Hi<br />
I have the same problem. I force myself to go out. I hope I will just have a conversation with someone that is more than just "Hello, this band is cool" "Yes..."<br />
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But it never happens. I've also read those "helpful" hints, volunteer, join a club etc. but then what? When you are there, what do you actually say? If I join a club, I will just end up sitting alone not talking to anyone.<br />
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Even if people approach me, I don't know what to do. So I don't really do anything. They probably think I'm an unfriendly *****.<br />
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I wish I knew how you could improve your situation, but I really don't. My life sucks too.