My Only True Love

Six years ago I met the man who will forever be my one true love. I married him and then for the next several years I was so afraid of commitment that I threw him out and then dragged him back in a number of times; until he could take no more. He is now being very ugly to me and while I understand him being angry with me, he knows my background and also knows that most of what I did was to please my family or his, neither wanted us to be together. Sometimes I think he's just been hurt so much by me, and then sometimes I think he wants me to pay for it all, but no one person is responsible for relationship problems. I wish I could hate him, but I know that I will forever love him.