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I Dont Know Whether I Should Hate Him Or Love Him

So Much History

By: cinfullynn
Written on February 12th, 2008

I sit here so upset with this man that I want to hate him in the worse way, but at the same time my heart is breaking for the indifference he is showing me right now. I have loved him for so long now that it is so natural. I cannot seem to get over him for some reason.He is wrong for me for many reasons and will just hurt me in the end I fear through his lying ways.

Then he has such a sweet gentle side to him that I just love so much and he gives me so much of that side every week. I am starting to question the real validity of his intentions for this relationship overall. I am tired of being alone all the time and only getting stolen moments of his time. I find resentments popping up when I don't want them to and I try to keep them at bay because they are not good for me to have in my life.

So the question still remains for me of whether i should hate him or love him. Both of those answers will devastate me in some way and I will have to find a way to make it through yet another broken heart.

By: cinfullynn
Age: 46-50 , Female
672 people have read this story

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6 responses
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    LonelyGirl1230
    LonelyGirl1230

    I am going through a similar problem right now. My ex completely left me and is now dating another girl after pretty much just breaking up. My initial reaction is to hate ever fiber in his being for doing this to me...and I verbally gave all I got to him the day he told me about her. And not only that but he neglected me a lot and didn't always treat me right. But sometimes I wonder if I am being too harsh on him. I mean we did have lots of good times together, and he did help me in a lot of ways. Not only that but we had both come to agree that we have too many differences to work out as a couple forever. So I wonder sometimes if I should ever try and apologize; he probably wouldn't listen anyway after what I said to him. But nonetheless, I feel at least for a while I need to hate him until my wounds have healed. Then maybe I will attempt to tell him I was wrong in what I said.

    Mar 21
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    cinfullynn
    cinfullynn

    Yes, we do need to be appreciated now and then. Good to see you again too!

    Jan 25, 2009
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    Bluegrass
    Bluegrass

    Just an idea... mix it up a little? Just to keep him on his toes and appreciate you...

    Our men should appreciate us!!! This love/hate thing is so real.

    Hey its good to catch up with you again!

    Jan 25, 2009
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    cinfullynn
    cinfullynn

    I do both at the same time actually I guess. I need to change my behavior though and see what happens next....

    Jan 25, 2009
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    Bluegrass
    Bluegrass

    I wonder whether the question is whether you should love him or hate him. You can still do both at the same time.

    You could try to be distant towards him, you know, like 'The Rules', and maybe he'll start to value you.



    Anyway I know just how you feel!!!

    Jan 25, 2009
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    cinfullynn
    cinfullynn

    Well at least we are not blinded by these men. But at the same time we are almost powerless over them.....

    Jan 25, 2009
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