I sit here so upset with this man that I want to hate him in the worse way, but at the same time my heart is breaking for the indifference he is showing me right now. I have loved him for so long now that it is so natural. I cannot seem to get over him for some reason.He is wrong for me for many reasons and will just hurt me in the end I fear through his lying ways.
Then he has such a sweet gentle side to him that I just love so much and he gives me so much of that side every week. I am starting to question the real validity of his intentions for this relationship overall. I am tired of being alone all the time and only getting stolen moments of his time. I find resentments popping up when I don't want them to and I try to keep them at bay because they are not good for me to have in my life.
So the question still remains for me of whether i should hate him or love him. Both of those answers will devastate me in some way and I will have to find a way to make it through yet another broken heart.