Worthless Is As Worthless Does

I've been married for 13 years...It's never been easy because we grew up in two totally different ways. But it's getting harder, and he just keeps making it worse. I suffer from depression and eating disorders which means, yes, I have horrible self body issues. I learned long ago to admit my flaws, and try to work around them. Lately he has just been making me feel undesired and unwanted for anything but sex and house cleaning. You see in the beginning of November I started going to school again because I'd been unemployed for a year and jobs are in short supply, and I have been doing really good at school..but as my self esteem goes higher, he seems to find more flaws in me. His favorite one lately is that I don't do as much as I should at home..as if cooking, cleaning, taking care of 3 kids needs AND homework isn't hard. It doesn't help that he is going to school too, but his doing college online while I have to go to the school for at least 4 hours a day, then come home and clean, cook, do laundry, wait for kids to come home, then help with homework, clean more, cook more....its stressful, and all he wants is MORE from me? I feel worthless, like nothing I do is right anymore...I am so tired of it all, as if it's my fault I'm not perfect (of course I never played that I was in the first place!) and everytime I start to build myself back up, he finds a way to make me feel worthless again, and the worst part is, I know he isn't doing it on purpose. I think because he feels like since he had to have surgery a few years ago and can't work anymore that he's a let down, but I just wish he'd learn to take it out on something besides me!
Silvertwil Silvertwil
31-35, F
1 Response Nov 26, 2012

Are you sure he isn't doing it on purpose? Im in a similar boat and the mid life crisis started with sarcasm and ended in an affair. Don't give him the benefit of the doubt b/c he's not feeling like the big man on campus. Men will stray and women dismiss / forgive too essily.