What Happened?

When I was a little kid life was simple, I knew who I was, I wanted to be and astronaut when I grew up and I liked candy. I don't even like candy anymore. I don't know who I am, what kind of person am I? I'm all alone and have no one to talk to and no friends. How can I define myself when there is nothing to bounce off of? I could disappear and almost nobody would ever know. I'm not sure if I'm living in a vacuum or if I'm a vacuum among the living. Things used to be good. I wonder where I went wrong.
FoolYourself FoolYourself
18-21, M
17 Responses Dec 3, 2007

i feel the same way. when i was a kid i'm the apple of the eye of my father, we used to have fun together, but now, we are too distance from each other.

i feel the exact same way.... <br />
i feel like everything in my life is going wrong and i have no clue how to fix it... <br />
i cant even write anymore.. i have no passion and i dont know how to get that passion back..

When I feel like this sometimes it helps to watch a comedian on Netflix or a funny movie. It temporarily distracts me. <br />
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Maybe write out a list of all the movies tv shows and books you like, or characters you like, like Game of Thrones... Some,times remembering your strong likes and dislikes can help you remember who you are.

I feel like that sometimes, but each person has a calling in life. Maybe right now you're lost, but I read a quote once and I can't remember it word for word, but it stated that you cannot find your way unless you are lost. so in order to find yourself, you have to be lost to discover who you are.

I feel the same way. I mean, I have friends, but I don't really feel like I'm a part of a group. I play on my school tennis team, and everyone is nice and all, but I feel... Left out. I don't feel like anyone really cares, and I don't know who I am anymore. For me, I think it's because I've spent so long pretending to be so many different things that I lost track of the real me, and now I'm just a shell. It helps to know there are other people who feel the same way.

I feel the exact same way. When I was younger I new who I was and what I liked. I felt loved and cared for. I felt safe. At age 14 all hell broke lose. I woke up one morning feeling like I was going crazy. I felt like I was about to lose it, and I did. Since then I have seen multiple doctors, been on many different meds, tried street drugs all in the hopes of feeling normal again. And feeling like I know who I am. I hate this feeling of not knowing who I am or what I like. Nothing really makes me happy. I'm 20 years old. I feel like I am waisting the bEst years of my life with all this worry and confusion. I was addicted to marijuana and alcohol for the last 5 years and recently got clean and sober through NA an AA. I now feel worse than when I was using. When I wAs using I never really felt good either but I guess it felt good to cover up my feelings and was some relief from the pain, but now I have nothing to cover these feelings up and no friends to turn to, because all my old friends drink and smoke and I cannot go back into a situation like that because I will surly go back to using. These last 5 to 6 years my thoughts have been on trying to figure out what the hl is going on with me. The thoughts have taken over my life. Mainly now the thought of not knowing who I am, people judging me for that and a **** ton of social anxiety due to the fact I do t know who I am or how to act around people. But anyways I guess I don't even care if I find an answer, I guess deep down I know there is no answer for how I feel I just have to accept it and move on, why can't I accept it and move on who knows

Before I say/write this I want to say I may be completely wrong. So, please don't hold it against me.<br />
It sounds to me like you're trying to define yourself by other people, looking for other people to define you and tell you who you are. In my opinion, that's really not the way to go, because it's not the "real" you. This might not be at all what you're saying- if so I apologize.<br />
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That said, I know you're lonely, and it sucks to not have friends, I know, I don't have any either. As for where YOU went wrong, I imagine it was LIFE that went wrong. Sometimes life knocks you down and it doesn't seem like you can ever get back up. I'm still on the ground waiting. I liked your vacuum analogy, it made a lot of sense. Maybe you could try writing? It might help. <br />
Sometimes what I do when I feel my soul/spirit is lost and I've no idea who I am (which is usually the case) and it's really bothering me, I say over and over to myself, "I know you're out there, somewhere out there," and try to trust that it's going to come back eventually. I hope some of this helps. You're not alone.

Can one be lonely when they have a husband, daughter and son. Yes...husband is self centered and only thinks of himself, daughter tries to "hurt my feelings" everytime I talk to her and my son is far away. Any comments?

you can visit my site http://www.noproblem.yolasite.com/ and maybe you will be able to change your life.

i feel the same way. I went through years of my mother crashing one dream after another. and now who am i? how do people see me? i have no idea. im just a misjuided ghost dead inside traveling through this world living a screwed up life

You sound adorable! I wanna be your new best friend!

"I don't know who I am, what kind of person am I? I'm all alone and have no one to talk to and no friends. How can I define myself when there is nothing to bounce off of? I could disappear and almost nobody would ever know." <br />
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I get you. If I just went nobody would care; I would have left nothing behind to be noticed for or heard. I use to know who I was when I was younger, then a sudden realization of confusion with no plan or map to be guided through step by step. Feelin like i'm standing out in the rain, in the life I created. They all seem to be knowing where they're going. God please. The hatred that people put on you the confused perceptions makes it always that little bit harder to live with your own pain of not knowing who you really are.

im still trying to find myself too, i always wanted to be a musician, but it just wasnt meant to be. that's all i did! now i have nothing!<br />
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the only thing i know i want, scratch that, NEED, is happiness. hope you find yourself.<br />
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my advice: mind as well just try a bunch of different things, what u got to lose?

I want happyness.Last ten years I was not like that.I was always happy.I can not do what I want to do now.

I understand. one minute you're young, you can make mistakes, you can act silly. then all of a sudden there are restrictions and you're acting ridiculous and you need to be like this, and you need to be like that. it's easy to get lost. just remember you're in there somewhere.

hey im sorry...i know how you feel

I'd like to know as well. So many different environments we pass by from Kids to Adults. I feel like I could dissapear and no one would realize either. :hug: