Where Did Kathie Go? I Sure Miss Her......I'm a happy person....I'll get over this. But, I want to stop and write this. I am sad...I miss myself. Indulge me, please.
Four years ago I moved my demented, mostly blind, physically challenged Mother to the city I live in. I am her caregiver everyday....not 24/7, but close. She still lives on her own, ( I laugh....she lives on her own because I 'assist' her ) in her home 15 min. down the road.
Please kindly just read my thoughts...and if you can, please don't try to 'fix' the situation. I just need to acknowledge this, then get back to my day. Thanks. Oxo
(In no particular order)... What did you do with Kathie?
1. I miss painting...I need to paint every day...it's my release...my therapy ... My joyful ex
2. I haven't REALLY exercised in a year and a half. I used to be addicted to it. I already exist on about 5 hours of sleep, I'm not going to " get up early."
3. I miss movies, the art museum ( I worked there part time)and I miss reading...I love to read, you just wouldn't know that.
4. I need a vacation ( smiles secretly ) and I LOVE to travel, I just don't get to enough. I love Sedona, the Oregon coast, San Francisco...to name but a few.
5. I bore myself. I used to stimulate my mind by attending plays, concerts...I used to learn new things by taking classes, all KINDS of classes.
6. I wouldn't blame my friends for giving up on our friendships. I do my best to see them, or at least phone, or at least return THEIR phone calls...but planning get togethers with them is just one more thing to work into my day, and, sadly...it is stressful.
7. I wish I had more time for grooming. I don't remember the last time I had nail polish on. I love being a woman...I love 'girlie' stuff. ( yes, I know I need a haircut. Shutup! ) :-)
8. I don't have time to be as kind as I once was...now all my kind deeds go to only one person, basically.
9. My yard and gardens are an embarrassing mess. I was president of a garden club for 6 years. What? You don't believe me? Can't blame ya....
10. And now I get to talk about these jeans. I will miss these jeans. I love wearing jeans...they are so soft and homey. The pair I'm looking at is the smallest pair I own.
The waist looks like it belongs on Barbie, or at least chatty Cathy. I'm not even gonna try them on...( revisit #2 ) I miss me in these jeans...but let's get real... In the goodwill donation bag they go.....dang.
I will be my happy self soon....just give me a bit of time to wallow in the sadness of missing me....of 'losing' the last four years. Without hesitation, tho, I'll say to you that no one has ever called me selfish, because that just isn't me.
Thanks...you dear people help me so much....but please, no 'fixing' ideas....oxo, Kath