I Don't Know Who I Am Anymore
I finished school two years ago and instead of going straight to University like my friends did, I decided that I wanted to be an au-pair. I did not want to go to some country everyone goes to, like the US or the UK. When I was younger I always wanted to go to Egypt, so I did. Found a family, booked a flight, packed my bags and flew to Cairo.
I loved the city, but I did not feel welcome or understood in the family I was staying with.
After two months it came to a huge row. Somehow everything I did was misunderstood and misinterpreted.
I never wanted to harm anyone. I always wanted to make other people happy.
Being told that I was a selfish person, who should not work with children was a harsh blow, especially since I loved my job as an au-pair and because I loved working with the children in my sports club, but mostly because I want to be a teacher. I wanted to be that teacher, that changes your life. With those couple of sentences my dream started to shatter.
When I came home, I wondered for a long time, if it was true what this family told me. I never believed that someone would see me as a horrible person. I thought about how other people see me and I realized, that I did not know how to see myself.
I spent ten months between coming back from Egypt and starting University, trying to find out who I am, what I believe and the impact I can have on somebodies life.
Two years later here I am. Still looking.
I now know how I can influence other people, which as a future teacher is very important to realize. That my motifs will not always be clear to everyone and how I could accidentally hurt someone, was a very harsh lesson that I will never forget.
I am still looking for the person I am going to be, but I know who I do not want to be. That's a starting point right?
I loved the city, but I did not feel welcome or understood in the family I was staying with.
After two months it came to a huge row. Somehow everything I did was misunderstood and misinterpreted.
I never wanted to harm anyone. I always wanted to make other people happy.
Being told that I was a selfish person, who should not work with children was a harsh blow, especially since I loved my job as an au-pair and because I loved working with the children in my sports club, but mostly because I want to be a teacher. I wanted to be that teacher, that changes your life. With those couple of sentences my dream started to shatter.
When I came home, I wondered for a long time, if it was true what this family told me. I never believed that someone would see me as a horrible person. I thought about how other people see me and I realized, that I did not know how to see myself.
I spent ten months between coming back from Egypt and starting University, trying to find out who I am, what I believe and the impact I can have on somebodies life.
Two years later here I am. Still looking.
I now know how I can influence other people, which as a future teacher is very important to realize. That my motifs will not always be clear to everyone and how I could accidentally hurt someone, was a very harsh lesson that I will never forget.
I am still looking for the person I am going to be, but I know who I do not want to be. That's a starting point right?
By:
meareneko
Age:
18-21
