I Don't Know Who I Am Anymore
Hello everyone. My name is Alex. I am a college student.
Like many college students i am caught in somewhat of a spiritual limbo, where i'm trying to find myself spiritually. I was raised in a religious household however so many facts point to no scientific evidence of an afterlife or anything of that sort, therefore i don't know what to believe anymore.
Last night i was remembering a dream i had about a year ago.. I don't know why i started remembering every detail of the dream as if i had just had it yesterday. It's a dream which you'll have to pay very close attention to, as it is very complicated.
I was put on a test along with 50 other people... we had to Cross a 5-mile long bridge... I don't know what the test was for or why i was taking it, but i just was.. I didnt know ANYBODY there, so i figured "This is easy all i gotta do is cross this bridge." But there was a catch. As we went on, the bridge slowly Inclined more and more upwards. Mile by mile, it slowly CURVED UP so that by the time we got to the end of the bridge, it was almost as if walking on a bare wall.
Throughout my journey in crossing this bridge, there were a group of guys [slackers] behind me throwing garbage at me and yelling out things like, "Look at you, you're so damn weak you'll never make it!! You suck!! You're a nobody!!" I remember feeling very insulted and depressed over their comments. I ignored them. Then out of nowhere a tall man, around his 30s, with Long Hair and a beard and mustache appeared and pushed the slackers out of the way and said, "Leave the guy alone". Then the guys just stopped teasing me. The tall man walked next to me. He was wearing a black bandana, with a black leather jacket, ripped jeans and boots. He looked like a tough biker. I asked him, "Do i know you from somewhere??" and he said, "No... but i know YOU." after he said that we didn't talk for another hour.
Somehow, i had almost made it to the end. when i just couldn't resist anymore. The bridge had become too inclined and I felt I was gonna fall back and die. So I grabbed on to a giant Pole that just appeared out of the blue. I looked back and noticed there was nobody there; EVERYONE ELSE HAD FAILED!!! The only people I saw were 3 obese women walking toward us. they seemed to be walking perfectly fine, without getting tired at all. But for me it was impossible to go on; the bridge was so inclined now it was like walking on a wall. Then the tall man looked at me and said, "COME ON, ALEX, WE'RE ALMOST THERE, LETS GO!!"
And i said, "I CANT!! IM GONNA FALL, I CANT RISK IT!!"
Then i heard the 3 obese women right behind me. i was too scared to even look into their faces. but when i had looked back earlier, i did notice that the 3 women were each different ethnicities. One was African-American, one was Mexican, and one was Caucasian. And i heard one of the ladies whisper in my ear very softly, "Come on, sweetheart, you can do this". her voice was so sweet and soft. but at the time i was too scared of letting go and i simply said, "No!! JUST GO AROUND ME!!" and the lady asked, "Are you sure?" and i replied, "YES!! JUST GO AROUND ME!!" and the 3 women simply walked around me and kept heading on their way. The tall man, who was still there next to me said, "Alex... we're almost done... let's go." and i kept denying it and kept saying, "No i can't i'm sorry... unless... can you help me??" but he said, "Didn't you hear the rules?? we can't help each other... it's every man for himself or we fail the test... now come on!! Let go of that POLE AND FINISH WHAT YOU STARTED!!" but i simply said, "Then just GO WITHOUT ME!! GO!! I can't go on anymore!!"
And he said, "Dont you have any faith in yourself?!?"
And i said, "You have NO IDEA how i feel right now!! I CANT TAKE THE RISK OF LETTING GO AND NOT MAKING IT!! I JUST CANT, IM AFRAID I WILL FAIL!!"
And he just looked at me with sadness and i'll NEVER forget his final words, "So you're GIVING UP at the last minute, huh??"....... and he walked away...... Then i stood there thinking about what he said...
When i looked up again, i saw the man take off his leather jacket and a white tunic was revealed. I don't know why but I began crying when I saw this and just by remembering it brings tears to my eyes. I get the hint of who the man was but I can never really know.
and that was when i woke up... And i had this feeling... its just indescribable... i really think there's a message in here...
Like many college students i am caught in somewhat of a spiritual limbo, where i'm trying to find myself spiritually. I was raised in a religious household however so many facts point to no scientific evidence of an afterlife or anything of that sort, therefore i don't know what to believe anymore.
Last night i was remembering a dream i had about a year ago.. I don't know why i started remembering every detail of the dream as if i had just had it yesterday. It's a dream which you'll have to pay very close attention to, as it is very complicated.
I was put on a test along with 50 other people... we had to Cross a 5-mile long bridge... I don't know what the test was for or why i was taking it, but i just was.. I didnt know ANYBODY there, so i figured "This is easy all i gotta do is cross this bridge." But there was a catch. As we went on, the bridge slowly Inclined more and more upwards. Mile by mile, it slowly CURVED UP so that by the time we got to the end of the bridge, it was almost as if walking on a bare wall.
Throughout my journey in crossing this bridge, there were a group of guys [slackers] behind me throwing garbage at me and yelling out things like, "Look at you, you're so damn weak you'll never make it!! You suck!! You're a nobody!!" I remember feeling very insulted and depressed over their comments. I ignored them. Then out of nowhere a tall man, around his 30s, with Long Hair and a beard and mustache appeared and pushed the slackers out of the way and said, "Leave the guy alone". Then the guys just stopped teasing me. The tall man walked next to me. He was wearing a black bandana, with a black leather jacket, ripped jeans and boots. He looked like a tough biker. I asked him, "Do i know you from somewhere??" and he said, "No... but i know YOU." after he said that we didn't talk for another hour.
Somehow, i had almost made it to the end. when i just couldn't resist anymore. The bridge had become too inclined and I felt I was gonna fall back and die. So I grabbed on to a giant Pole that just appeared out of the blue. I looked back and noticed there was nobody there; EVERYONE ELSE HAD FAILED!!! The only people I saw were 3 obese women walking toward us. they seemed to be walking perfectly fine, without getting tired at all. But for me it was impossible to go on; the bridge was so inclined now it was like walking on a wall. Then the tall man looked at me and said, "COME ON, ALEX, WE'RE ALMOST THERE, LETS GO!!"
And i said, "I CANT!! IM GONNA FALL, I CANT RISK IT!!"
Then i heard the 3 obese women right behind me. i was too scared to even look into their faces. but when i had looked back earlier, i did notice that the 3 women were each different ethnicities. One was African-American, one was Mexican, and one was Caucasian. And i heard one of the ladies whisper in my ear very softly, "Come on, sweetheart, you can do this". her voice was so sweet and soft. but at the time i was too scared of letting go and i simply said, "No!! JUST GO AROUND ME!!" and the lady asked, "Are you sure?" and i replied, "YES!! JUST GO AROUND ME!!" and the 3 women simply walked around me and kept heading on their way. The tall man, who was still there next to me said, "Alex... we're almost done... let's go." and i kept denying it and kept saying, "No i can't i'm sorry... unless... can you help me??" but he said, "Didn't you hear the rules?? we can't help each other... it's every man for himself or we fail the test... now come on!! Let go of that POLE AND FINISH WHAT YOU STARTED!!" but i simply said, "Then just GO WITHOUT ME!! GO!! I can't go on anymore!!"
And he said, "Dont you have any faith in yourself?!?"
And i said, "You have NO IDEA how i feel right now!! I CANT TAKE THE RISK OF LETTING GO AND NOT MAKING IT!! I JUST CANT, IM AFRAID I WILL FAIL!!"
And he just looked at me with sadness and i'll NEVER forget his final words, "So you're GIVING UP at the last minute, huh??"....... and he walked away...... Then i stood there thinking about what he said...
When i looked up again, i saw the man take off his leather jacket and a white tunic was revealed. I don't know why but I began crying when I saw this and just by remembering it brings tears to my eyes. I get the hint of who the man was but I can never really know.
and that was when i woke up... And i had this feeling... its just indescribable... i really think there's a message in here...