Unreal 6 Months

I swear, the last 6 months of my life have been unreal.  My husband and I separated on our 18th anniversary, my oldest went off to college the week before.  My youngest is 17 and busy all the time-normal, but I miss her and can't blame her.  I swear I've lost all my friends somehow-and I don't know what I did. 

I wanted my husband to stop hanging in the bar so much, and be home ready to start making plans for when the kids are both gone-nope, he doesn't want to do it.  He's 40 now, and wants to do what he wants, with no hindrence from me.  Not much of a husband then, is he?  No kids to really worry about now, so I should go do what I want to do, he says.  But I want to make plans with my husband-vicious cycle.  I don't feel the bar is a good place for a married man anyway.  I've lost my spirit, my husband, my friends are mostly work friends-I'm not from this area-my area is 3000 miles away, so no family either.  It's a small town.  Too much gossip, so I don't feel comfortable attending church either.  I've lost my passion for the things I love, and feel like an empty shell waiting for this to pass.  I have faith that it will, but in the mean time, I just needed to get this out.  Mid life crisis?  Maybe.  Empty nest syndrome?  Definetly.  Glad I could get this off my chest, even if no one cares, maybe the next person who reads this might not feel so alone.

frigginfantastic frigginfantastic
36-40, F
4 Responses Mar 28, 2009

Sorry to hear that. l divorced my wife after 18 yrs of marriage. should of done it sooner. love less and sex less is not a marriage. its like a room mate! do what is best for you. only you know the answer to that one!

Hey friggin, hope things are somewhat better since you wrote this? Come back to EP, we'd like to talk to you...

*hugs* Having not walked in your shoes, I hesitate to say that I understand, but I can empathize. *offers a shoulder to lean on*

Hi,<br />
<br />
Thank you for your kind and supportive comments. Just an update, but I eventually found a good job in the large city we lived 100 km outside of, broke up but remained on good terms with my partner, met my soulmate of a best friend, and things got better. <br />
<br />
THEN I moved back to my home country and am now in a terribly low point again at a job where my boss hates me. However, I hope that this kind of illustrates how things go up and down. AND I wish you luck with your situation. I feel your isolation and just want to let you know that you're not really alone...