Here lately I have really been struggling with who "I am". For me it is easy to be an outgoing lovable person, to a stranger. To someone who knows me, well that is a different story. I have been with my fiancé, the father of my child, for some time now. The longer we are together the more I question who I am, what I like, and what will motivate me. I unfortunately am someone who falls into the footsteps of another. What someone else likes (that I hang around) becomes something I like, and not just the usual song, or movie. I find myself becoming a version of him. Now that we have been together thus far, I am starting to realize that I DONT like the things he does, the constant home body that he is, I'm not. He is so very stuck in his ways that doing anything else is just to far of a reach for him. So I settle doing the things he wants, likes, ect. He tries to ask what I like to do, and I don't have an answer, I don't know what I like to do anymore. I've never really given myself the time to find that out. I feel like if I were to meet myself, I'd hate me. I need help finding myself.
Inmyheadarestoriesunread Inmyheadarestoriesunread
22-25, F
1 Response Aug 21, 2014

I'm going through the same thing. No I don't have a bf, but it seems that when I am interested in a guy I'm trying to mirror him. Not for approval but more simply to give him something to bounce off of. I'm afraid I'll be this way forever: empty waiting to be filled. I think it's that we doubt things that truly excite us. Guilt or shame or simply lack of approval cause us to dim or disregard OUR light...... I think a lot of ppl will suggest alone time... A break from your bf. but I think that a break will only cripple you emotionally, and I think that if you can find yourself with him around you'll know it's true. That will determine whether you stay or go.

It gives me such a great amount of comfort knowing that I'm not the only person that feels this way. You seem to understand it more. Maybe if I could find a way to put it into words my fiancé would understand and help me. But honesty maybe it's just up to me, and he will have to be okay with that