I Dont Know Who I Should Be and When to Say No

I wonder why people are able to keep everything under control i dont know how i just know how to make things worse i dont know who i am suppose to be everytime i have a relationship with someone like my foster mom or someone else it ends up being messed up when i go through my day i dont know when to say no to be whe enough is enough i worry what people are going to think so much that if i tell someone know that i am going to be upset with and i cant handle it i dont know what type of person i should be. I dont know why i have to give people what they want in order for them to be happy with me,. I wonder if i am going to change this or if i am gonna be this way forever.
GreenChristine GreenChristine
18-21, F
2 Responses Jun 2, 2007

When I was younger, I too relied on others to know who I should be, but that's not a good idea.<br />
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Here's the good news: As corny as it sounds, you can be whatever you want to be!<br />
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Let me share with you some practical ideas, which I learned the hard way.<br />
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Decide what you want out of life. What you REALLY want out of life, not just a one-time impulse wish. If you could redesign your life from scratch to be perfect, what would it be like?<br />
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Secret #1: If you decide what you want to be and don't doubt it, you can be that person right now. Example: If you want to be loved by a special someone, you can feel that way even before that person loves you that way. Just feel loved, and act that way. Don't have any doubts. They will respond accordingly! If you want to be successful, think and act that way. After he became successful, Will Smith said, "In my mind, I've always been an A-list Hollywood superstar. Y’all just didn’t know yet."<br />
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Secret #2: People can't get mad at you if you are sincere. If somebody expects something from you that you don't want to do, sincerely tell them that that's not you, and you hope that they understand. The key here is to be understanding. Understand how the OTHER person feels. Example 1: Why is your family disappointed with you? If you understand why, you can do something different to make them happy. Example 2: If a guy wants to do something that you do not, recognize that he probably needs to feel loved. Focus on that, not his actual request. Does this make sense?<br />
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Try saying "no" with love and understanding and see how it works. Think of this as an experiment. But make certain you watch what happens carefully. Watch how the other person feels, and you'll probably see the whole world through different eyes.<br />
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Good luck! Keep me posted, privately if you wish.<br />
NeoAwakens

Well you sound like your doing better than you where earlier.