Why Am I This Way

I dont know why im crying over you. you dont speak to me, your not the one. so whay are these tears rolling down my face, falling on to the keys as i pour my heart out. why does it hurt to tell you its over, that i dont want you to try because what it was isnt good enough. i desirve better, even if you are busy. i thought of your smell your hands. the taste of your skin. i hate you! god why am i crying! i cant stand you and i dont want to see you again! but im still crying, my heart is still pounding inside, my body trembling over you. i should be over you, three weeks. i should have forgotten you, but here i am sobbing. why is it that when i turn my back my heart slips away. how can i love when i didnt mean to? why is it that its all falling to peices whe i think of you? i love you, i do. and i will say it, but only to take it back. i will lie to my self and tell you they are not for you, i will say my heart is not aching for your voice and that i dont long for your touch. i will not! i wont cry for u, but i do. i will cover it up witha smile. i will hold my self together, like your arms as it was falling apart. i miss you. god i miss you so bad it hurts. its so hard to see through tears, emotions that blind to the truth. maybe im foolish, maybe i believe in to much good. but i miss you. i gave you my heart. and it hurts to part with it. it hurts. i miss you, i miss your strong arms and beautiful smile. i miss it all. but ive been missing it for weeks. and now that i have said good by and am waiting for your reply it finally all comes out. i love and miss you but will no longer be with you. i miss u

DarkAmber DarkAmber
18-21, F
2 Responses Mar 8, 2010

Its not the person you feel sad for that has brought tears into your eyes, its losing out on the love that once wa shared that brings pain and sorrow. Try and remember that where one love is lost a new one will arrive and you'll see it in a whole new light, a new beginning.

I know you're struggling with your emotions: love, hate, love, hate. I know, I've been there, most of us have. If someone is causing you this much pain though, it's really time to walk away for good. No matter how much you miss the good times, you have to do what's healthy for you. Be strong. Concentrate on yourself, find something healthy to distract yourself with and you'll realize that in a short while it will all be a distant memory, a lesson learned. You'll get through it, just don't go back to someone that gives you so much pain, because there is someone out there that will give you pleasure. Good luck, chin up!