So, I THINK I have finally gotten my self out of being in the victim role. I think that I have been able to be more empathetic lately. I'm still depressed, low, low, fragile, broken, not even glued together. I'm put together with tape right now. But now when I think of things in my past with my spouse and previous, I don't have this feeling and thought of how every thing went so wrong because these people did me wrong. Honestly, I do feel sorry for my self still. Because I feel like I was just given a ****** life. I mean from the beginning. What I was born into. What I was born with. It's ******. I feel like I was dropped into a possible war zone with no tools and skills to prepare and help me through it. All alone with nothing but my..... sure to come failures.
Oh god help me. I wish I had one time to talk to him. I wonder what I meant to him. I wonder if he looks down at me. I wonder what he would say. I wonder if he loved me. He had his issues..... But I just wish I had one conversation with him. Just one... At least.... Lol

My sadness feels like it's here to stay. Is only taken away with what other people are willing to invest emotionally. That's just how it is
expressivelyMe expressivelyMe
36-40, F
Aug 24, 2014