The Marine

hes a marine, hes a friend, and most of all he is my brother, after all that i have been through the one thing that i always dreaded to ever happen is that someone, someday would have to experince the kind of pain that i have, now i stand on the side lines watching my very brother go through the exact pain that i went through and it kills me, he is currently at camp lejeune and this coming friday well be shipped to 29 palms for training and 50 days later over seas to serve his country, i have come to found that between his exs and his following pains between when he went to boot camp til know he has finally snapped, i fear this only because i know what it is like to go through this, i know the pain, the thoughts and i beat it, he has snapped and is not ready for this, for now we fight for his return home and not his injury of himself or injury of anyone else due to his state of mind, deep down i just hope that everything will be okay and slowly tell myself this all the time so i know he will be okay, i never thought in my wildest dream he or anyone i know would have to go through what i went through like this and now here i stand waiting, slowly watching as things fall into place and put up my wall for those to lean on and never brake no matter how big or hard the hammer is that is being thrown towards me, i was here in the beginning and damnit i will be here through and to the end, and now here i stand,  i stand to lose everything or hold strong, now i stand strong and shall not brake under ANY means, i dont care what happens, i just want him and them happy, i want them to know its okay and it will be okay, its not about the money, its not about the marines, its not about the girl, its about the true feeling of being happy again, stop worrying about everyone else's happiness and start working on your own, once you are happy by yourself then everything else will fall into place and people will be happy, if you worry about other people being happy then you are not going to be happy and then the other people are not going to be happy because they see that you are not happy, rather then take the leap and make yourself happy and then through thick or thin, in the end when you are happy other people will be happy seeing you happy and you will be at peace with yourself to help other people and have the strength to be the very wall that i have been, for now it may be a waiting game, but ive got a lifetime to wait and i will and forever will wait forever, i just want them happy, i want the pain to end and the worries to fade, its going to be okay, it has so far and it will continue to just as long as you allow for yourself to believe so and apply it, start with yourself and the rest will fall into place i promise


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Mar 14, 2010