Only At Arm's Length

I have a great relationship with my husband, but even that took some time, and he's the only person in the world I've ever truly been comfortable being myself around. Otherwise I've been pretty good at ducking out of relationships and friendships the minute things get too emotionally close.

I grew up in an emotionally abusive home, and I also think my personality lends itself to this, but it's probably more tied to the way I was raised and events in my past. If you learn at a young age you can't trust your family with emotionally vulnerable stuff, something deep inside on a primal level seems to fundamentally switch on or off.

Sometimes I get lonely, but mostly superficial social interactions always give me a buzz and stave off the lonely feeling. I love discussing lots of things, especially ideas and theories, current events, and business, but once things get personal, I am gone. I've always had trouble forging friendships with other women because many of them go to a personal level right away, which immediately causes me to retreat and distrust them.
lemonsoda lemonsoda
26-30, F
May 5, 2012