When someone is mad at me, especially if it is a special one, I'm overwhelmed by impotence.  I don't know how to react or what to do.  The harm has been done.  There I am, the guilty one, and I don't think of picking up the pieces. 

Every argument is a final showdown.  Or it has that potential for me.  In spite of my temper I detest arguments.  And my temper is fuel on the flames.

One woman specialized in listing all my past mistakes.  Of course the list continued to grow and finally she had to put all her bad memories on paper.  The relationship didn't last.  After it came to an end, I tried to make sure that this would never happen to me again. 

Soom after, I met the girl I married 25 years later.  We have two, maybe three arguments a year but we're still madly in love, so they don't last for long.

moreandless moreandless
56-60, M
6 Responses Mar 12, 2010

I have no idea how to help you, More... because I'm the exact same way. I don't know what to do about this feeling of impotence in the face of challenges, arguments and hard feelings.

Hmm... life gets me off-balanced... either that or my bouncing...

Life made me keep an eye on the balance.

Yes...because of your temper...and control. Not many are able to have both...

Is it complex, Sylph?

The complexity of what you wrote makes me smile...