I Dont Want Kids, Even If This Results In a Divorce!

I am 23yrs old and have been married for a year now. My husband and I talked about having children before getting married and decided that we would have kids in the future. Since I was a little girl I always knew that I did not want to have any children, I only agreed to having kids because I have so much pressure from my mother (since I'm her only daughter out of six boys), family, friends and society that all women should have kids in order to be a "complete" women. I have a cousin whom is really close to me and have been raised as sisters. She is currently 35 weeks pregnant. I went to her doctors appointment and as she was undressing she pointed out how horrifying her body looks and I was TRAUMATIZED!!!! She has stretchmarks all over her entire body. She then described her experience throughout her pregnancy. She explained how much it hurts when the baby kicks, she has no desire to have sex since her sex drive has decreased and her vagina hurts so much when she sits or walks. She cant stand or sit for a long period of time because she is uncomfortable in every position. How she cant breathe well, her feet are swollen, and how much back aches she experiences. Her body has gone thru major changes that her self-esteem is extremely low and she is suffering from deep depression. Some mother say that after you hold your baby in your arms everything you scarified during your pregnancy is worth it all. However, about app. 20% of women suffer from Postpartum depression and 50% suffer from "baby blue" depression. Why do they suffer "if having a child is worth it all?" It's not about being selfish, I see it as wanting more from life than being a stay at home mom, or working a lousy under paying job, because in order to have a career you have to dedicate time and effort and in order to be a good mother you have to sacrifice your career and social life. So its either your a mother or a successful woman. I love kids like for example my nephews/nieces don't get me wrong, I'm always available to babysit them, however, when they start annoying me (which happens 99.9% of the time), I'm so glad and relieved to be able to call their moms and have them deal with them. My friends talk about how great it is to be a mother however, I always see them stressed out and annoyed by them. I see the jealousy and regret in their eyes when they see me dressed up in sexy little clothes, with my high heels on, my hair and my artificial nails nicely done, sipping on my glass of wine while their running around in their sweat pants at 2-3 in the afternoon screaming at the top of their lungs because their kids are annoying. Their always in a bad mood because of the stress. I do feel bad that I lied to my husband about kids but the more I think about it the more convinced I am about not having any children that I do not care if my decision results in a divorce! I know there has to be men out there who don't want any children as well. I have goals, dreams, ambitions to travel and experience the world. Some women are meant to be mothers other are not. I love the fact that I can wake up and decide if I want to get on a plane and travel. I love sleeping, relaxing in a quiet house, having sex all over the house without worrying if the kids are awake. I just love and feel 100% A COMPLETE WOMEN without any kids. People just need to learn to respect that not all women are meant to be mothers.
CandyQ5709 CandyQ5709
22-25, F
2 Responses Jan 19, 2013

your story made me smile so much girl to hell with children when you already complete and loving life go girl. i admire those who are proud of how they are we didn't choose to be this way that's just who we are. i admire those who want to write their own life script and are not afraid too. good luck wish the best

Good for you for standing up for what you beleive in ! As a 44 year old male who chose not to have kids I know the pressures from family and society alike.