Lonely And Sad This Christmas

As a child Christmas was the pinnacle of each year, I adored it, snow, sledging, winter walks, hot chocolate by the fire, going to see family and friends, presents! But now I'm older it's different and I'm sad, I've not only lost my grandma and grandpa who kinda of made Christmas Christmas for me but I realise I'm 22 and I'm alone... like every year and I don't even have much to show for it. For Christmas it'd be nice even just once to have someone to kiss under the mistletoe, to have someone to love and hold and laugh with.
At the moment I'm kind of resenting love, as this thing everyone seems to have apart from me and I don't understand why. I keep telling myself one day someone will notice you, but they never do. And I know growing up meant letting go of people and getting less but when you're older, that doesn't matter, it's who you share it with that makes it special and this year I don't even think I can stomach Christmas, as it'll only highlight the people missing in my life.
followthewhiterabbit followthewhiterabbit
22-25, F
Dec 1, 2012