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I Am About Peace And Love

The LORD knows I am not perfect!!!  I have many things I could improve about me.  I have some very good and positive ways about me though.  One of them is that I can't stand to have HATRED in my heart and soul.  HATRED is such an ugly, cold, dark thing.  It makes me feel so uncomfortable, so uneasy, so not ME!!!  When I get like this, I can feel GOD reminding me to stop it.  HE reminds me constantly but sometimes or many times I ignore HIM. 

I grew up feeling this way.  So negative, so hurt, so lost and alone.  So full of anger and hate.  It's not a good place to be. 

Once you finally start to feel some of that ugliness, some of that coldness, some of that darkness being filled with bright beautiful light, the hatred starts to go away, little by little.  The light gets bigger and brigher.....it's a nice feeling.  The more you feel it, the more you want it.

I like this feeling, it's niceee, its peaceful, calming, serene....

I'm sure some people will not agree with the way I think but I know in my heart, my soul, that this is how Jesus would be.  So this is what I want too

I like it here, I think I'll stay......heart  smiley

TexasLily TexasLily 51-55, F 9 Responses Oct 25, 2010

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Awwwwww thanks for much Dorothy. I sometimes wonder what the hell and I doing in this world. I sometimes feel sooo lost and alone. I talk to GOD, I give his my anger, hatred, sadness. I trust in HIM to the best that I can. Which is sometimes very difficult considering I had NO ADULTS to trust growing up. So how could I possibly know how to trust GOD. I do though and there are times like today that wonderful beautiful things happen. Things that I talk to GOD about and HE hears me and answers my prayers. So I sit hear with this huge smile on my face and I still don't know why I'm here, ONLY THAT GOD IS WITH ME AND ALL AROUND ME.....:-)

We always have SOMETHING we need to work on, don't we?! What makes you wonderful TL is that you are always trying to be the best you you can be - and I already think you are so wonderful!!!<br />
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I admire you so much - for all that you have been through - for making yourself let go of your bitterness - all of it - I am so glad to have you for a friend!!!<br />
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OH BTW, GO BACK TO COUNSELING!!!!!!! : ) Aren't I funny?!

HAHA, VERY TRUE WHYDOIBOTHER. JUST THINK ABOUT IT. I HAVE PTSD, WHEN A PERSON HAS THIS DISORDER, EVERYTHING MAGNIFIES IN OUR HEADS 100 TIMES MORE THAT WITH THE NORMAL BRAIN. SO IT'S A HORRIBLE PLACE TO BE. I HAD BEEN ASKING GOD TO RID ME OF THIS HATRED I HAD BEEN CARRYING AROUND. ALL OF THEY SUDDEN, IT'S GONE AND I FEEL SOOOOO PEACEFUL INSIDE, IT'S SO NICEEEEEEE,,,:-) NOW TO WORK ON A FEW OTHER THINGS THAT I MUST RID MYSELF OF......*SIGH*

I am an open book with some people, the ones I'm closest too. They will know everything about me. I have to gain trust to be open about all of me. Mostly for fear of being judged, something I hate. There are many sides to TexasLily.....some people dont agree with my ways, but well, like I've said many times, I am who I am....

My take on hatred is a BIG NO NO! Many people consist of hatred but proclaims to have love for one else. I may speak about myself: not that i wanna come out clean but im capable of hatred. When someone upset me, i make it point that i do speak to them about it from occuring to moderate grudger leading to hatred... People should just be open books than closed books. Being secretive can also lead to hatred because you aint free to express your thoughts & feelings. Am free like a bird

My take on hatred is a BIG NO NO! Many people consist of hatred but proclaims to have love for one else. I may speak about myself: not that i wanna come out clean but im capable of hatred. When someone upset me, i make it point that i do speak to them about it from occuring to moderate grudger leading to hatred... People should just be open books than closed books. Being secretive can also lead to hatred because you aint free to express your thoughts & feelings. Am free like a bird

No it isn't healthy - and I battle resentment and hatred too - as you know! The only person it is truly hurting is ourselves - not the people we are directing it at!! So we are taking care of ourselves, loving ourselves by getting rid of the hatred and replacing it with love!!

LOLOL, weelllllll you kinda did, AHAHAHA!!!!! JOKING!!! Yes, Dorothy I've had a lot of hatred in my heart in the past months, it's good to be rid of it. Hopefully it will NOT return. It's a horrible feeling to walk around with this, it weighs a person's soul down. PLUS, it's just not healthy...:-)

I am with you on this one TL! It is much more peaceful to let go of anger and resentment - sometimes it is hard to do but once you do it - you wonder why it took you so long!<br />
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Darkness begets darkness BUT Light begets Light - and the LIGHT is so much stronger! (now I fear I may sound like Obi-Wan Kenobi! LOL!!)