Completely Counter-cultural

I'm 41 now. I was 37 when hubs and I got married and he was 40. We agreed before we got married that we were "too old" to have kids. Fast forward 3.5 years and he really wants us to adopt. I'm terrified. I don't like and don't want kids. There is really very little ambiguity in my mind about this. Add to this the fact we are active and devout Christians, he is even in seminary and plans to be in full-time ministry. Forget about the pressure of society to have children, try having the "Word of God" brought to bear on your head about this issue. It's awful. What's more awful is the idea that I may be trying to deny hubs something he really wants. I travel for work and enjoy my job. Frankly, I like leaving home for some nice time to myself even though work/travel can be exhausting. The idea of having to check in all the time and likely having to quit my job, making far less money and the financial pressure of raising a child is just not something that makes me too happy. I love my hubs. He's great. He would take care of the kid alot, I am sure. But, this isn't like giving in to having a puppy. I likely wouldn't have much affection toward the child. Don't kids deserve better than that? There is *nothing* in me that wants to raise children. I see cute kids, even those well-behaved, and nothing goes off in my brain that says "I want that". I may as well be looking at a pony - meh. Now, don't get me wrong, I am active in some charities that support kids and feel that is so worthwhile. I can love kids from afar, as a concept. But, having that personal responsibility... no thanks. However, I AM open to having grandchildren! If I can figure out having grand-kids without kids, I'll let you all know! :-)
catluvgal catluvgal
41-45, F
1 Response Jan 23, 2013

Good on you for being honest and holding an opinion which most people simply cannot accept. I have never understood why children are so hugely popular (especially amongst the less intelligent, sadly) and could never think of even one sound, logical reason for having them. I truly hope you and your hubby are able to work out some sort of compromise.

loved you comment,especially among the less intelligent,sadly.....reminded me of my husband's standard line whenever we encounter a moron : " and these are the people who will procreate!!god help us!" :D