I don't like my father for SOOOO many reasons. He's controlling, pessimistic, and narcissistic.

There's so much to cover that I'll bullet it:
-He's verbally abusive to my mom (he called her n!ggerish a few months ago)
-He's controlling. He wanted my mom to be a stay-at-home, but he monitored the bank account so closely that she got a job (and now he demands her schedule so that she gets in at a specific time all the time)
-He has gotten physical with one of my brothers
-When he gets mad, he has no remorse for what he says (He made a risky sharp turn once that could've flipped the car & said "Welp, you made me mad" [if the car had actually flipped or if we'd of died])
-If something happens, it's neither fate nor his fault--it's ours. (when the car broke down once, he blamed it on my brothers not being ready on time.)
-He has made my mom cry for ~26 years of marriage. She's too weak minded to leave, and she's used to it. (that really saddens me.)
-He only has two emotions: calm or furious. He can flip the switch like it's nothing. There's no gradual emotion.
-He gives non-apologies (after apologizing for physically hitting my brother, he got on the phone and pretty much bragged about it.)
-He was given things all the time. (My grandma didn't buy flowers for a funeral and bought him a toy instead) That explains his constant sense of entitlement.
-If he makes fun of you, and you get upset, "You don't understand my humor" or "You're too sensitive." If you tease him and he gets mad, he'll try to get back at you.
-He feels the need to make remarks over the most minuscule things. I was putting a quesodilla in the oven, and I stopped for about 3 seconds, and when he saw the door open, he said, "What are you trying to do, let all the heat out?" Another example is that me and my brothers kinda jog up the stairs. We do it all the time. This ONE time, my brother trips, and my father goes, "What, you can't walk anymore?" He's not doing it to be funny; you can tell. It's petty, and it's the perfect example of everything being annoying when you're dealing with a certain person.
-The dynamic in the house changes when he's around. When he goes on trips, everyone laughs, jokes, talks louder, and moves around more. It feels like it's actually our house. When he's there, we all retreat to our appropriate areas in the house. We don't talk much, and if I do, I whisper. I suppress my laughter so that others can't hear (I do that anyway, though.) It's his house again, and we're just living in it.

Okay, and here's why I think he's a narcissist:

-He goes on and on about a YouTube video he has. He'll announce how many views he has all the time (a million). He went on about it, saying, "I've created this playlist since I was born. I used to write these songs down whenever I'd hear them. It took me years to come up with the perfect playlist. How dare you [someone who commented on his video] say, 'list out the songs in the description'!"
-He's always thinking that we doubt his intelligence. He can answer most questions on Jeopardy! and thinks it 'proves us wrong.' (We don't care, honestly.)
-He expects praise from us all the time.
-I accidentally scared him once, and after saying, "Whoa, you scared me!" he said, "You didn't SCARE me, you just caught me off guard!" (He has to look "tough")
-If we do something he wants to do, we usually are bored. If he does something we want to do, he sulks, complains, gets angry, and ruins it for us. Oh, and sometimes when we do what he wants, he gets mad because of some outside force (money, people, whatever).
-We can talk about ANYTHING, and he'll direct it back to himself. ("Oh, I met her." "Oh, I've been there." "Oh, I thought about that."

If he died/got arrested tomorrow, the only downside would be the lack of steady money. (That's how much I dislike him). If I were to confront him, I'd either be called sensitive or I'd be teased (or I'd be a target). I feel like I'll end up in a mental hospital. Sometimes, I wonder if I have a mental illness because of him. I wonder if I'll end up with a husband/boyfriend like him in my life. I like to come online and rant/vent, so please excuse all the space. If you made it this far into my venting, thanks. I just kinda want to get it out, because bottling it never helps.

If you're still reading, well, you must be bored by now, so thanks for reading. Any comments are welcome and will be responded to accordingly.
inmyopinionithink inmyopinionithink
Aug 18, 2014