I Don't Know

I wish i had another, better life..now my parents are fighting because we are poor we don't have enough money to go to school..i heard them in my room and i felt guilty, because i think it's my fault, because i..always want nice things and we all know that we are not rich, but i just want to be like..any other girl who wants to have fun and buy things..you know..umm but then when they saw me listening to them, they told me to come and i did and my mom tried to fake a smile like to be happy and said, "Hi, my litte girl, look we have a lot of money and we will spend it only on your school for your education and you are our heart, so don't think that we are poor, cause we are not, we are just as rich as like i'm the queen and your father is the king alright!" and then she laughed and she thought i was stupid and i didn't know anything..so i just nodded and went back to my room and cried.

Another moment when i was little and my father was my hero  ..umm he always carried me and made scary sounds and i laughed..and i thought he was a nice dad..and after this i realized..that umm he always tries to touch my..ah private parts, because once we were alone and he told me, "what's this?" and he pointed on my v..ag..ina and i told myself, "OMG!" and then said to him, "nothing..wh..y?" and then he started to touch it and..ah man! okay i can't say this, but i would say that he has abused me and my sister..and now i really..hate him, but in the same time love him, i feel so confused and sad and lost ...

Sigh..umm there are moment which are depressing in my life more than happy ones like 80% depressing moments and 20% happy ones..and besides i can't even remember any happy moments right now in my life..ahhhh..no..i can't.



NumbNumber NumbNumber
1 Response Jul 13, 2009

Sounds like you have a terrible family...but you know, that's what EP is for. I have formed a priceless family on here, and they are here for me in many ways that my biological family is not.<br />
<br />
I could adopt you as my EP daughter if you want...