I Just Don't Know

I mean I do care for her she is my mom after all. I just don't like her. We recently had to move in with my aunt, and it is very stressful house. I find myself spending more and more time alone, and truthfully, I like it. But, my mother doesn't. She insists I spend more time with her, but I don't enjoy her company, I never have. She tries to guilt trip me into doing what she wants by saying things like "one day you'll appreciate me, and you'll call me and say 'mom I'm so sorry, you were right, I was wrong." Or say I should go live with my dad ad how much she can't wait because I will hate it. She is nosy and won't let me live a life without her interfering. She even tries to get information about me out of my friends. And every time she tells me she loves me or apologies for overstepping a boundary, I find it harder an harder to believe her.
An Ep User An EP User
1 Response Jan 21, 2013

I know how you feel. My Mother does the same thing of insisting to spend more time with me. My problem is that I find her so annoying sometimes; I know this is bad but I kind of find her gross. This is not for any particular reason, that is just how it is. I have a great relationship with my Father. He is loving, fun, understanding, and just releaves a lot of the stress in my house coming from my mother. For instance, right now my family is visiting from outside the country and she is so unsocial and disconnected that she does not even talk to anyone. When she does come to these things (sometimes she doesn't because like I said she is unsocial and she does not get along with my Father's side of the family), she makes it really awkward. Since she does not get along with my grandma from my father's side, there is always some tension. Even though it makes me sad to think that she is missing out, most times I just enjoy it better when she isn't there. My family that is visiting always talk about her and ask me how she is doing; I can tell they want to see her and pretty much I have to say excuses all the time for why she is not with us at the moment. I'm getting so sick of all her c*** and games that I kind of want to ask my dad why he does not divorse her. Though I know it must be horrible to have divorced parents. My father feels the same way sometimes and my mother has a tendensy of ruining our family moments. Like when we went on a family trip for christmas and new years, she got mad at the family again over there and misses our family new years and just sat in bed and would not tell us what we did wrong. Like sometimes she is just ridiculous. Recently she has done this thing of quitting on something she was committed to and she tries to make us feel bad for whatever thing she feels bad about. I just think she is really sensitive. It is my summer and lately i just haven't been doing anything with her because I don't want her to ruin my good mood. One major problem she has is seeing that for a period in my life, I will drift away from her for a bit. Even though when my mother was my age, she had some issues with her mother, she doesn't except that it is normal- that I will be disconnected then connect again when I get older. My friends have great mothers that are not too over involved but still care for their children. The thing about not caring for your children has never been a problem for me. My friend's moms are cool and calm and most times I wish they were mine. I don't know, but sometimes I just feel like I am going to explode. It is just so agitating. So, just know that you're not alone.