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I Just Really Need Some Space...

I have raised in an Asian culture family.  Growing up in one means that family is the super duper, number one, the most important thing imaginable.  My parents always want me and my sister to be there for one another and take care of each other.  Down the road, when they're no longer amongst the living, they want us to support one another.  I totally agreed but I didn't know to this extent.  We are only 11 months apart, I am 19 and she's 18 and every year, there's one month that we'll be the same age.  One way to describe my sister is she's the piece of tape, that I've been trying to peel off for years but couldn't because every time I succeed in peeling her off, my parent would glue her back onto me again...Which means, everywhere I go, she goes.  We have so many things in common that when we go shopping, we would spot at the same thing.  I would just let her pick whatever she wants first and then pick my own.  When my mom brought clothes that she brought home, I still let her pick what she likes first and then whatever is left, I'll take.  She tend to tell my parents everything that I do wrong to her with her innocent little face and reddish-teary eyes, it made me so angry but I had to keep my anger down.  I am a very independent person, I don't like sucking up to my parents or anything along that line.  My sister?  She's all of that.  She can get out of trouble oh so easily.  "Mom, I'm going to the movie"  I asked.  "Bring your sister with you" she would say.  I never question why I have to bring her.  My sister have friends, but none are very close and when she does go out with her friends, I couldn't careless.  It's her friends, and I respect her space and have fun while at it.  She knows all of my friends that i hang out with, while I only know some of hers.  Sometimes I feel as if she's stealing my friends and ended up ignoring her and  getting in trouble and my parents called me being selfish, that "she's your sister and you should look after her" and that "family comes first."  Yes, I understood that...but I want my freedom as well.  That's why I never have the courage of telling my sister how i felt fearing what others might think of me, as a selfish sister.  Just recently, my mom told my sister to go to the University that i'm going to as the same time as me.  She was supposed to come after a year.  At least I get a year break from seeing her.  Now I have to move away from home with my sister...I just hope she'll realize that I want my freedom and stop sticking her nose into my life so much.

ThuTrue721 ThuTrue721 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 10, 2010

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dude i feel u!

I am also an older sibling (of eight). I also was forced to 'drag along' an unwanted younger brother many times. Yes, it was annoying! The younger one was usually a nuisance to put up with. We all managed to live through those years, however. I believe you will, too. Hopefully, as you mature you will begin to see her positive qualities as you both mature into independent adults.<br />
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For several years, I lived just a few miles from one of the 'drag along' brothers. He helped me get settled in when I moved to his area giving advice on local procedures & sharing his knowledge & experience of local things. Soon after, he went through a bad auto accident, spending two weeks in ICU. Then, his wife left him & divorced him. I was one of his support buddies through that difficult time. When I was your age, I would never have believed that he would be my best man when I married a few years later but he was. You see, I had been his best man about six months before that & it just seemed right. About 450 miles miles now separate us. We believe that the Lord had put us together for those years so we could help each other. <br />
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Be patient and get along. You may be as surprised as I was. Good luck!