Lost Cause

Where to start?  I have a hard time keeping friends.  I easily make friends, but within 6 months, they have nothing to do with me.  I guess it's because I'm bluntly honest (I don't think before I speak).  I'm on Social Security because I can't work.  I suffer from depression and anxiety (BPD).   I'm overweight, I had  the lap band weight loss surgery, it doesn't work.  I can't control my moods like other people can, because of the BPD.  I am terrified of everything.  I always am trying to help other people.  I don't bother with trying to help myself, I'm a lost cause.

boarderline boarderline
36-40, F
15 Responses Oct 25, 2008

Thanks veronica, I'm feeling better with myself because of friends like you!

We all need to love ourselves and that comes not from external validation of who we are but from our inner strength. You have it we just need to focus on you<br />
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We need to talk more, I have close friend who also had the lap band and it ended up not working for her as well. L4L requires discipline that comes from within. I can tell you are a strong woman, we just need to channel those strengths to help the most important person in your life...YOU!<br />
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I"m glad that you are blushing...:D...but you are a wonderful person...

You are so sweet. You've got me blushing!

i'm sorry it was just an idea....i don't think i can pull it off either, LOL...i've tried playing chess with myself, never worked....but i'm glad that you are growing bd....<br />
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Warriormom thank you for brinign the best ouf of BD, i just met her, and I know she's a wnderful person

You are too funny. I could never be 2 different people though! I guess some people could pull that off, but I get confused to easily!<br />
You are the biggest reason for my coming out here WarriorMom.

That is such a cool idea. I've heard of the same princable by journeling with one hand, and responding with the other. For myself in AA when I was stumped on something all I had to do is ask myself what would my sponsor say and the answer was right there. boarderline, I have known you when you were so quiet here. Then one day you were off and running. You haven't slowed down yet. I'm in awe of your persoal growth and know in my heart you will cross the Boarder Line.

Can't do something like that. I don't want to be diagnosed with multiple personalities too!

well just think of yourself as someone else, maybe that will help....create 2 ep accounts and talk to yourself and tell yourself the problems... it's an idea, maybe wild...but hey it may work..

One of my problems, according to my 'shrink'. I want to help and love everyone else. I just don't know how to help and love myself.

I don't think anyone is a lost cause....Your trying to give advice and fix other's problems make yo u someone wonderful who cares about other people.....That's a very big + in my book...you are a wonderful person BD, and i'm learning lots from just tlaking to you...you brighten my day when we talk!!!

Thank you for caring AngelofStone. <br />
I'm still looking for my purpose, I hope I find it soon, I'm 40 years old already.

thank you<br />

I don't know what to say. ....that's a tough one. I hope that what EP has done for me will also be as good for you. We've become good friends. Let's see.....<br />
I want honesty in relationships or their phoney.<br />
I'm on S.S. because I can't work.<br />
I've been told I have BPD, but my other labels cover it.<br />
I can't control what I eat. My weight goes up and down.<br />
My moods change but in a different way.<br />
I have PTSD and after 35yrs still have panic attacks.<br />
It feels good for me to help other people because I've done everything possible to help me.<br />
Thanks for sharing...I don't feel as alone