It's weird, but whenever I'm with friends, I basically look at myself from an outside sort of view. When I'm with them and I say something inappropriate or if I use a curse word, I picture myself saying it in that moment then I picture myself at home. It's so hard to explain but at home I'm a goody goody, and when I'm out with friends or if I'm doing something my parents wouldn't approve of, I involuntarily picture them while I'm doing whatever, and it makes me feel weird. I don't know. I can never break the rules or do anything crazy like normal teenagers do, without feeling overwhelming guilt and thinking of my parents. I don't like myself because I'm too good and whenever I try to break free from that, I feel like I'm not being myself and I look at myself from an outside perspective of disobeying my parents and I feel icky. I wish I could have fun and be normal like all of my friends. But even TYPING this makes me feel guilty. I wish I liked myself.
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26-30
1 Response Jul 26, 2014

I hope your blessed like me