Wake Me Up When September Ends

I believe he exists as well. Also, I don't think there's a deeper wound than a mother losing her child. -hugs-

And you're right in my opinion. Life has wounded or will wound us all in one way or another.

Lastly, I just want to say that this story has shown how wise and strong you really are. When I finished reading this, I felt inspired in a sense. You've carried such a deep wound and managed to be one of the most peaceful, supportive, and fun persons as far I know. There's no doubt in my mind that your son is smiling at you right now. You're truly are a beautiful person.

Datura, I can find no better words to express my feelings than those written by TheUnsolvedMystery.

Remaining spiritual in the face of such adversity such is beyond my realm of possibility.

It's an honor to be your friend.

Namaste

Your son is with you everyday and he will always be there for you, watching over you.
*Sending you unconditional love as I write*

I am so sorry for your heartbreaking loss and humbly respect your unwavering courage and spiritual strength as you continue your life journey. Peace and love, friend.

(((((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))

There is no way one can get over a loss like this. No way.

Datura, you are the most amazing person i know. The respect i feel for you can not be described in words. You went through the biggest heartbreak a person can go in this life and yet you remained a loving, encouraging, pilar of strength for everyone around you. You are an inspiration. A true living example, that trusting and relying on our source is the biggest aid on this human journey.

You and your son will meet agian at the source. Till then he is with you every step of the way..smiling, no doubt.

Love and light to you, sister.
You are in my prayers.

dear datura, loosing the love one is always hard and no one can get over that,you right the best way to deal with that is to be spritual and beleave the sprite lives in another form and i beleave he is in form of his brother and his
sister closer than ever to so you can smell him ,kiss him ,hug him and feel him,
so wont wast a moment and let him heel your wound with there presants and make shore they feel the same.
i susggest enjoy the time ,every minute of your life with your love ones now when they here becouse end will come for everyone,i know as spritual person you shuold know death is part of life so when the time come you be stronger.


BE STRONG

((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))

I'm crying, that is a terrible heartbreaking experience and you have made it beautiful emotional experience for all to read.

You have given a heartbreaking experience and yet I believe that he is still with you too. Will always be till you met again.

You are amazing and I so admire you and how you handle life.

Datura, my heart goes out to you I can understand how your son's death is with you every single day, I am glad there is a place where you are able to be with him.

I thank God that my son never reached that point but was helped by his mother and sisters to accept that he was not well. He now leads a pretty normal life and holds down a good job.

I feel for you. I have not lost a child, but I did lose my brother because he was an alcoholic. He did not take his own life, but he did decide not to drink anymore which is what took his life.
It was nine years ago on the 26th of August.
You are right, it doesn't get any easier. I can't think or talk about him without breaking down.
The moment I was told that he was gone a part of me died. So I know what you mean when you say there are two parts to your life, before and after.
I know I will never be the same, but I try to use every chance I get to become better and stronger from this. Like helping others in my position.
I will never forget him or get over not having him here anymore.
There is one thing that I do know for sure. I feel him with me, I talk to him, and I believe that he speaks to me with the music that we shared together.
You and your son share the pond and the fish.
I believe that they are both with us and that they are healing where they are now.
Who knows, maybe they have even met where they are since they were both dealing with some of the same problems here on earth.
Know that you are not alone and if you ever need to talk please contact me. I would love to speak with you.
Sending love and peace to you.....

I particpated in a walk called Out of the Darkness a few years ago. It's a group focused on helping to prevent suicide. When I got there the "walkers" were asked to take strands of colored beads - one each to represent each person they were walking for. Each color stood for a different type of relationship, a father, a brother, a friend, a son.

I picked 4 strands. One each for my father and my father-in-law. They both committed suicide. Then I picked two more. One for my brother and one for my husband. They had both attempted suicide. I walked outside the tent feeling a little blue but as I looked around I saw all these people with white strands of beads (mine were gold, red, blue & orange). I suddenly realized....these were the people who had lost a child. In comparison my losses and challenges seem so small. I'm not sure I could survive losing either of my sons to suicide.

You are an amazing and inspiring woman. I'm not sure what happens when we die but I hope on some level you'll recognize a rejoining with this wonderful son of yours. Until then live in peace.

i have been told im a good listener, i offer my support.....*hug*

GOD bless

Three years ago, my great friend, Nic, hanged himself.

He was the most thoughtful, considerate friend.
He'd do ANYTHING for a friend.

When he became ill, those of us who loved him tried our best to help him.

Two years his illness went on, during which time, he constantly harmed himself, lost his temper with his mother, Carol and drove away his wife and daughter.

In the three weeks before his suicide, he seemed to be getting better.

The afternoon of the day he hanged himself, my husband met him on the street.
My husband said that he, Nic, seemed much more positive than he had in months.

It was Mothering Sunday.

He and his brother had taken their Mum, Carol out to a fancy restaurant for a meal, they'd gone to see Carol's mother in her nursing home.

Nic had had a huge bouquet of flowers delivered to Carol, with a card saying,' Thanks for everything. I love you Mum.'

His brother and children left around eight in the evening.
Soon after, Carol took the cups etc from tea to the kitchen.
Nic said that he had something to sort out in his room.

Ten minutes later, CXarol, having finished the washing up, thought Nic had been unusually quiet.

She went to the bottom of the stairs and called up......No answer.

She thought that Nic had his music on loudly in his room, and couldn't hear her.

She went up the stairs, meaning to knock on his door......

She found Nic hanging from a beam in the loft.

Not, as most people would assume, dangling from the beam, legs swinging in the air.

He was, as most hanging victims are, on his knees, his face blue, his eyes and tongue bulging.

My husband & I think so often that we should have KNOWN that Nic was palnning something.

All we saw, though, was that he seemed better.

Not a day goes by that I don't think of Nic and think that his calm that final day should have alerted me to his TRUE state.

We cannot go on blaming ourselves for what we didn't see.

Your son, my dear, made a decision.

No-one will EVER understand why he did that.

I wish I could tell you that it gets easier.

All I can say, my dear, is that the pain DOES lessen as time passes.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Wow. Not being a mother, I cannot even begin to comprehend your grief. The closest I have ever come to such empathy is reading Barbara Kingsolver's _The Poisonwood Bible_. However, I have lost a grandfather, an uncle, and a dear childhood friend (also known as a dog) to demons similar in terribleness to those of your son. That said, all I can give (though I wish to give more!) is my deep hope that you will find more of the peace and semi-comfort which only time can bring.

I, too, believe that your son still exists upon a different spectrum of life and energy. And I am so happy that you can still feel his presence!

As the others have said, you are a very strong, courageous, and inspiring individual. I thank you very much for sharing this part of your life with Experience Project. :)

There have been many times I have thought about suicide and planned on it. And everytime I am so close to doing it, somethings stops me. Like these stories, or my mother doing something very nice for me, or something that is just out of the ordinary amazing.
All three happened today.
First of all, I come on and see this story, which I know is the final straw for myself of thinking about doing it.
Secondly, I come home from school today and on my bed is a bottle of arizona [my FAVORITE], sour skittles, and a 72 pack of tampons [inside joke in my family]. All to celebrate my September 19.

You have my sympathy - I lost a child (an infant, premature, who just wasn't strong enough) The short time he was here left me with that longing to know him better. That was 31 years ago. He would be a good stong man now . . . Your son is in a new place. Death is just one more door that has to be opened in our existence. A dear friend and counselor of mine agrees with me that out of any tragedy some good must be found. You seem to be finding that good. Keep at it and know there anr thousands and probably millions who pray for you every night. I had the thought that perhaps your son and mine sit somewhere now listening to both of us. Your son turns to mine and says: "I can't wait till they get here - we will have our hands full explaining everything to them." God bless - keep smiling. Tim