Look But Don't Touch

I just don't like being touched, period.  Snuggling on the couch during a movie is fine, but I hate girls who have to touch me 24/7 like they think I'll disappear or something.  Well, My best friend knows I don't like that stuff, and I was recently at his bachelor party.  Of course, we went to a ***** club.

There were 10 guys and we took a couple rows of seats to the side of one of the stages.  I took up a spot in the middle of the group, as I thought it would be the safest spot.  Well, after a few minutes, everyone to my right disappears.  One of my friends was behind me so we would talk a little and just enjoy the show.  He's married, so he wasn't going to be getting any lap dances.  I don't have anything against strippers, I just don't like being touched.  And I'm not there looking for a girlfriend, so I'm not going to sit there and have a conversation with one either.  Call me an *******, but I was just there to have a good time and enjoy the eye candy.

Well, now that I was suddenly on the outside, the girls would walk up, put their hands on me and ask if anyone wanted a dance. After the second time it happened, I got my stuff and moved back by the wall, putting my buddy who was behind me between me and the strippers, so to speak.  Well, this spot wasn't the greatest.  There was a pole there, but I could still see what was going on.  It was still better than being touched by every girl who wandered over though.

Well, my buddy decides he wants to go get a beer at the bar next door.  So he leaves me.  I was kind of talking with the guys infront of me, but it didn't take long before a girl comes and sits next to me and puts her hand on me.  At this point, my friend (the bachelor) was back and sitting not to far away.  He heard this entire conversation and witheld his laughter until after she left.  Here's how it went.


Her: "Hey, are you having a good time?"

Me: "Yup"

Her: "Can you see alright with that pole there?"

Me: I lean to the side, take a drink of my water.  "Yup"

Her: "Do you want a dance?"

Me: "Nope"


She got up and left.  Nothing against those girls, I just am not comfortable having a perfect stranger touching me and dry humping me for 3 minutes.  My friend died laughing after she left though.

SpiritualFighter SpiritualFighter
26-30, M
3 Responses Feb 23, 2010

Don't worry, she didn't want you . Only your money! LOL

The only one I tipped was the waitress who brought me drinks. heh

I can't blame you for not wanting to be touched by those gals. They were working their little fannies off for your tips!