I Respect You, You Respect Me

My boyfriend lives in a very poor neighborhood. Many people don't have transportation, and are short on cash a lot of the time. I don't like it when people walk all over me and expect me to be there for them and give them what they need on the spot. I get asked all the time for rides, and I usually say yes. I am a nice person, and hate to turn someone down in need, but at the same time I don't want to feel like a doormat or any easy ticket. I know I am a nice person and many take advantage of that. Some people borrow money off of me with a promise of giving it back. Sometimes I never see the money- I'm not that niave though- that's when I stop and lose respect for that person. Sometimes people ask me for money. I ask "What do you need the money for?" their reply is just to get a few snacks up the road .. something along those lines. Later on I find out that they spend it on getting high. I don't like how some people can mooch off of others and not feel shame.
allissaxx allissaxx
18-21, F
4 Responses Jul 19, 2010

There is a big difference between someone who is 'going through a tough time' and someone who is content to live off of the efforts of others. I'm all about helping someone out who is doing their best but as for the folks who are simply users, I have no problem saying no.

I'm the kind of person that's for the mentality of "if you appreciate how independant you can be, you can cherish yourself and feel more proud of your achievements".<br />
<br />
You don't really get that if you mooch of others. There's no real happiness, or if it is it's artificial or simply short term.<br />
<br />
"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he'll eat for a year".<br />
<br />
Or something along that line. Expect change it to<br />
<br />
"Mooch of a friend, you're happy for a day. Become more independant, you cherish yourself for much longer."<br />
<br />
But I guess you'll always get people like that. And often, the best way to make them see is to throw then in the deep end, and force them to become more independant, tough love so to speak.<br />
<br />
People can't appreciate the light, until it goes dark.<br />
<br />
Cut back on what you give out, and your presence will become more cherished.

You'll have to find a badge..."NO"... or ..."PLEASE DON'T ASK"..."A REFUSAL HURTS"... there is nothing more annoying than that, and you shouldn't feel guilty about saying no. Practise saying it to yourself until it starts to become natural.

It's hard to say no when you're a nice person. However..I too had to begin saying No. That was years ago. I felt guilty! Imagine that? They were the ones who should feel guilty. Taking & never had the intent to return or pay back. I made the transition fine.Now I can spot a moocher and turn away from that business in a snap.