I Dont Like To Look In The Mirror
Sometimes I feel confidant and beautiful but most often I feel repulsed by my looks. I feel that my face is too chubby or my lips to big. I would look at the girls that are always perfect looking in envy. People would flock to them as if they were honey-talking to them first. I would always be that person who has to go up to someone first to make a conversation.I would always keep quiet and to myself because whenever I stated my opinion on matter they always seemed to negative or controversial for people to like, then people would avoid me. But when I looked at these Barbie girls- it seemed that no matter what they said or did they would get away with it. All it took was the fluttering of their lashes and a little sweet talk. When I dress up I feel beautiful- but after the magic is gone it goes back to the ugly ol' me. One part of me is the confidant the other has much to be desired. Perhaps I'm bi-polar? Still, I often wonder why I can't all just be beautiful all the time. And please don't give me that "your beautiful on the inside" because we all know the. We are conceited by nature we look for beauty in others as well as ourselves, it is human nature that we are selfish and always want more. Perhaps it just that I am an oxymoron- both beautiful and ugly?
Two sides of the same coin...
Two sides of the same coin...