Flip Flop

I'm unsure how to fix my problem. Sometimes I feel completely confident and I'll dress up to impress my husband. And then 80% of the other times I just want to break every mirror in my house so I don't have to look at myself. How do I get myself to have more self esteem? I've disliked the way I looked since I was in high school.. And I also just see what a horrible person that I am. I always mess up on everything and I hate it. I don't want to think about all the mistakes I've made in my life anymore. I just want to move on. And help would be great.