I Don't Want To Hurt Him

I am in a relationship with a guy who is 6 years older than me. We live together, which makes it very difficult for me to say that i don't love him the way he loves me, im not sure i ever did to be honest, i stuck around mainly because of the kind of person he is, kind, sweet, caring and he loves me to bits. I wish i could feel the same way about him but i dont think i can, i dont like the idea of being so tied down, im only 20! The hardest part is his family have not had the best of lick, his mum is disabled his sister had learning diffuculties and his brother has a degenerative disease.... he says that im his only happiness in life, and if i was to leave him he wouldnt know what to do! Any advice would be GREATLY appriciated, i just dont know what to do!!! 

tattyteddy29 tattyteddy29
18-21, F
2 Responses Mar 9, 2010

Gosh - being someone else's "only happiness in life" is a huge responsibility! from your description it sure sounds like a smothering situation. Some people would be ok with that - but you probably have dreams and aspirations for yourself - and you may not be able to meet them in this relationship. If those dreams and those aspirations are important to you - it would seem logical to tell him exactly how you feel and get some space for yourself.

You really should be open and honest with him. Tell him how you feel. Let me ask you this: ARE YOU HAPPY??? If the answer is NO, you have so much life ahead of you to live, you can stick around with him so your conscious is happy for knowing you aren't hurting him, or you can be HONEST, remain friends,(hopefully) and move on with your life. "sticking" around to make someone else feel good, is only hurting you, and making you miserable. And don't say you "love" him just to say the words. Be true to yourself, and most importantly BE YOURSELF. If you are saying these things to make him feel better, it will only cause MORE hurt in the end. And of course, you will probably be told you are a liar, user, and whatever else he decides to throw at you, but remember who you truly are, thats all that matters. Things happen in life, we all take the ride, some of us stay on longer, or go for more than one, the best thing you can do for everyone involved is to sit down and TALK rationally about how you feel and want you want. be honest, be open, be caring, be assertive, be courageous to not let him play the guilt trip on you, do what you feel is best in your heart and you will be ok!