Where Have My Feelings Gone?

I don't know what to do.

I met my boyfriend while working part-time before university. After 2 months of knowing him, he asked me out and I said yes because I liked him. 3 months down the road and he's serving the nation in army while i'm starting a new life in uni.

Now I'm separating my time into: personal time, school, homework/study, family, secondary school friends, college friends, university friends and him. It just feels like he doesn't have a role in my life anymore. It feels like life would just go on fine without him. And the worse part is that all these thoughts only make me so guilty. Why have I become such a horrible girlfriend?

From then on things started to get weird. I didn't exactly miss him and my feelings for him just seem to be growing smaller each day. He's really a great guy. He cares for me but all I can see are our differences. Talking to him is an obligation now, meeting him every weekend is a burden. I feel so horrible but I don't know what to do to love him again.

Yesterday I cancelled a date with him and told him to give me some time to figure out some thoughts and feelings. But he kept calling me, texting me and even waited outside my house. I don't know what to do. It's nearly 5 months into the relationship... should i continue and try to find my feelings for him again? should i break up?
alicerant alicerant
18-21, F
Sep 23, 2012