I Care For My Husband As A Brother But I Don't Love Him

I have been with my husband for 27 years now. He was my first boyfriend. He was / is honest, hardworking, salt of the earth type. But he is also very old fashioned in his views, he is not a modern man by any stretch of the imagination. Our lives revolve around our 3 chdren and our 2 businesses. We never do anything together, I no longer want to. We went to Relate Councilling at the end of last year and only ever talked about work and children. We seem to disagree more recently than we ever had.
I thought I was happy, but last year I learned about a new me following an armed break-in at our shop. I did not handle it well and needed help, whereas he just said you're fine and went off to work! It was then that I turned to another friend and wound up falling in love eventually. This friend was another married lady with an equally poor marriage.
Anyway my husband found out and was quite rightly angry and extremely upset. He is desperate for me to go back to normal as he calls it, but a year on J can not. I have changed. I no longer love him, but I care for him as my brother. Ican not bearhim to touch me. My friend has moved on and is still with her family who know nothing. I just need to move on and go on my own, but can not do this because of my 3 children.
My husband wants me to stay but every so often makes remarks which really hurt. I feel he saps my energy.
I am managing to carry on. Everything at home seems as normal to the children, which is great. But underneath it is far from right.
I know I did wrong, but when I needed support he was not there. I dkn't want to hurt anyone but need to get out of this horrible situation somehow.
Thanks for listening.
Swsplash Swsplash
41-45, F
Aug 14, 2012