Why Do I Stay?
I cannot believe that I am doing this but I don't know what else to do. I have been married for almost 11 years to a man that has treated me like his child and NOT his wife. He is a military man and I have bent over backwards to make his life complete. But in the meantime I did not live my life. We have 3 children. The oldest is not his but he has been there since she was born. He has not been a great father. Which in turn I blame him for not letting me be the mother I wanted to be. He believed that kids should be seen and not heard and that is NOT how I wanted to raise my children. But I adapted myself to HIS ways and a few months ago I told him that I could not live like that anymore. He promised to change and for a few weeks he did but its slowly going back to the angry man he has always been. He and I can have the BEST of times when the kids are not around but I look at him and most of the time he makes my skin crawl. I WANT out more than anything but I continue to stay. We did the counceling thing, I went by myself mostly! He went twice. I know in my heart that I dont love him but I continue to walk around this house and pretend like all is well. I am sick of it! I am so depressed. I am screaming inside. Then I always ask myself when he is trying, why can't I just love him? He has never cheated, he always comes home to me, he doesnt go out and party, he has the potential to be a good husband but, I DONT LOVE HIM! I dont think I ever did. I was a teen mom and he was the first to pay attention to me and I clung on! Well I want to let go but unsure if I should. I am at a loss, do I stay? Do I try to love him and help him change the way he says he will. Do I cut my losses and get out. Do you learn to love someone?